


There is More Than Fear in Your World

by PlatinumSoul



Category: Bleach
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Hisagi's healing process, Idiots in Love, M/M, Original Character(s), Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28642977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlatinumSoul/pseuds/PlatinumSoul
Summary: Hisagi meets Kensei when he's appointed as the ninth division captain. He starts to fall in love with him but he isn't sure he deserves it, after all, he was the one to kill his last captain.Will that continue to haunt him? Will he be able to organize his feelings of guilt and love? Only time will tell
Relationships: Hisagi Shuuhei/Muguruma Kensei
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

Standing restless in front of the captain's office, Hisagi Shuuhei waited for permission to enter. It had been two weeks since the winter battle had ended. He had avoided thinking about what he'd had to do right then, it had given him more reason to hate Kazeshini's shikai form. While he was aware Aizen was mainly responsible for Captain Tousen's death, 'what if' scenarios still plagued his mind. 

What if Hisagi had tried harder at making captain Tousen see that revenge wasn't the way to go? What if there had been a more peaceful way to stop him? What if captain Tousen never once cared about him?

A distinct deep voice brought him back to the present. Hisagi was about to meet the new ninth division captain, he knew the third and fifth were getting new ones too. Usually there would be a welcome commemoration, but the three new captains didn't deem it necessary. They were simply returning to their old posts.

The only thing Hisagi was informed about them was that they had participated in the winter battle too. The vizards that everyone was aware of their existence but never brought them up until then. Hisagi had spent the tail end of the battle injured, and when he was able to get up, the focus had been on captain Tousen. So he wasn't able to see when they entered the fight.

As he opened the door, it took Hisagi exactly five seconds to recognize the man sitting in the desk across from him. He never found out his name, there hadn't been time to ask when he met him the first time. His hair was now in a mussed up style, but there was no mistaking it. This was the man that saved Hisagi from a hollow about a hundred years ago. That encounter had impacted him so much, this man was his literal hero and was a few meters away from him. He admired him so much, Hisagi had gotten the same tattoo on his cheek the day he enlisted in the shin'o academy. 

"Hello? You are my vice captain, right? Are you going to just stand there?", his new captain asked, looking bothered. 

"My apologies, sir. My name is Hisagi Shuuhei. I'm the ninth division vice captain", his voice cracked at the end.

The silver haired man simply raised an eyebrow. Hisagi cleared his throat, hoping his embarrassment wasn't obvious. This second impression wasn't going very well. Actually, Hisagi wondered if the other man remembered him at all.

"No need to be so nervous. I promise I'm not that scary. My name is Muguruma Kensei, and I'll be your new captain from now on. Things will be different but I think this is what the ninth division needs", he spoke with conviction. 

The first piece of information that stuck with Hisagi was the name, Muguruma Kensei. After so long, he finally knew his hero's name. The desire to say it the soonest he could was big. The second one was how things needed to be different, while he agreed, a part of him felt saddened. Hisagi didn't want it to be as if captain Tousen had never been here. 

"Understood, captain Muguruma. I have faith that you'll be able to give the rest of the division the hope it currently needs", Hisagi proclaimed loudly. 

"That's more like it. By the way, I hate that formal shit. You can just call me by my first name", Muguruma said, as if it was something normal. 

"I couldn't. It would be very disrespectful of me to do that even if you ask", Hisagi shakes his head and waved his hands in opposite directions. 

"Fine, suit yourself. I'll do it my way", Muguruma shrugged. 

Then as if he was doing a double take, Muguruma stared at his face. Hisagi didn't know what to do under those scrutinizing eyes. He tried to change the way he was standing but decided against it. What could he be seeing that got his attention?

Oh. The tattoo.

Hisagi resisted the urge to cover it with his own hand. He had never been ashamed of it, but being in front of the person he had been inspired to get it from was almost nerve wracking. 

"Why do you-", Muguruma started.

An interruption came in the form of a green haired woman Hisagi had never seen before. Regardless, she had inadvertently helped him avoid a potentially awkward situation. 

"Kensei!! Why didn't you wait for me?", she demanded. 

"I have no reason to do that. There's already things here to keep me busy. It's not my fault you wanted to go with Shinji and Rose first", Muguruma said, stacking some papers together.

"But I'm your vice captain, I've gotta be aware of where you are so I can help you", she pouted in an exaggerated manner. 

"I told you, Mashiro. You're not my vice captain this time, there's already one here. Shuuhei here is the ninth division's vice captain so greet him. She is Kuna Mashiro", he said in a disinterested tone, pointing at her. 

"Meanie Kensei! I wanted to be your vice captain again, I'm gonna be so bored otherwise. Let me, let me, let me be it" Kuna rolled around on the floor, throwing a tantrum. 

"You can't be, there's only one vice captain per division. Stop being a baby or go cry about it somewhere else", Muguruma's patience was running very thin. 

Meanwhile, Hisagi could only think about how Muguruma had used his first name so soon. He'd said informal addressing was his thing, but still took Hisagi off guard. It was like he short circuited, this felt surreal. 

"Don't you think I deserve to be the vice captain too, Shuu-tan?", she grabbed Hisagi"s shihakusho from the shoulders.

"If the rank was stripped to you unfairly, then I would agree", Hisagi replied, half listening to the conversation. 

Wait, Shuu-tan?. That was a nickname he didn't look forward to keep hearing in the future. He hoped this wouldn't kick him in the butt later. 

"Don't encourage her", Muguruma's voice veiled in annoyance. 

"See, Kensei? Even he agrees. If I can't be vice captain, I'll be super vice captain instead. Sounds cooler, anyway", Kuna jumped around Muguruma's desk. 

Their captain sighed deeply.

Hisagi wondered if he would be able to adjust to this new setting in the near future. He thought it was possible as he saw his two newest comrades arguing with each other. In this period of uncertainty, an air of confidence that they would be alright passed through Hisagi like a breeze. 

\---

It turned out that Hisagi didn't take long to get used to having Muguruma Kensei as captain and Kuna as super ninth division vice captain. Not counting the first few times Hisagi's brain stopped working when hearing his captain call him by first name. Everyday life had been going without a hitch for the most part. 

Kuna and his captain arguing over inconsequential matters was a regular occurrence. Muguruma seems close with his fellow vizard captains but with Kuna seems even more so. Sometimes it kind of felt like an inside joke that Hisagi wasn't allowed to participate in, even though he'd like to. Not to say he disliked her, she could be a handful but was a rather capable shinigami. Her personality was a fresh and cheerful touch that he was grateful for. The good points overrode her bad ones by a small portion.

Some things he'd learned about his captain had been ingrained into his long lasting memory. He had a bad temper but did his best to reign it in unless it was Kuna, Hisagi's convinced that she did it on purpose. He was very tidy and organized, nothing is out of place in his office most of the time. He was kinder than he thought, the first week out of nowhere just gave everyone in the division some onigiri. Hisagi didn't doubt he liked to cook but he gave everyone their favorite flavor despite claiming he didn't care what they thought of him. 

And the last one for now, the way he slightly smirked when he found something amusing. Hisagi was fascinated by it, giving a striking contrast to his captain's usual demeanor. Whenever he did that, it was like flying in the ever expanding heavens. Yet there was a looming anxiety of falling to the hard and cold ground.

Walking inside the most famous Izakaya in the Seireitei, Hisagi spotted Kira who he had agreed to meet up there. The place was fairly crowded so it was hard to go where his friend was, without getting into unnecessary conversations. He made it to his blonde friend in less than five minutes, and sat down in front of him. 

"Hey Kira, there are a lot of people so I took a few minutes from the door to here", Hisagi said as he got comfortable in his chair. 

"It's fine, Hisagi-san. You're the first one to arrive, I invited Matsumoto-san and Hinamori-kun too, so I want to wait for their arrival to order", looking up from the menu.

"That's fine with me, Rangiku-san is probably going to be here soon. If it's about alcohol, she's always the first one to get on board", Hisagi rested a hand on his chin. 

As if on cue, a cheerful Rangiku-san showed up pushing a hesitant looking Hinamori. The orange haired woman sat next to Hisagi while Hinamori went to sit by Kira's left side. Rangiku-san was the one to order sake for everyone and some tantanmen ramen

Everyone knew Hinamori was the one out of their group who took the most psychological damage because of Aizen's actions. It was reassuring to know she was fine enough, physically and mentally to come hang out with them again. 

There was a solace in knowing him, Kira and Hinamori shared a similar pain with their past captains. Even though they didn't really talk about it, Hisagi could feel their wordless pain. 

For now, he planned to enjoy an evening with his friends.

After a few drinks, Rangiku-san giggled after almost every sentence and even the usual gloomy Kira had a small smile on his face. 

"And then my captain...he...slipped on some papers I forgot on the floor", Rangiku-san laughed uncontrollably. 

"Didn't you get scolded afterwards? Shiro-chan is very serious when it comes to paperwork", Hinamori wondered.

"I did, still totally worth it", Rangiku-san said triumphantly. 

"At least your captain takes his work seriously. Mine juuust out of nowhere in the middle of office work will pull out a guitar and...and just starts singing some sad melody" Kira hiccupped as he complained with a tired face. 

"Really? I feel like I would get along with him. But as much as I don't like paperwork I wouldn't change my captain like ever", Rangiku-san commented with a smile. 

"I hope I can get along with him better soon, I don't want to be disrespectful. It's just that if he asks me to join him in his singing, I'm gonna lose it", Kira balanced his own glass in front of them. 

"Let's hope that won't happen" Hisagi chimed in, sure his friend was fully drunk. 

"From my part, Captain Hirako is a good balance of serious and laid-back. I do wish he made it more clear when he's joking sometimes, as he has a weird sense of humor", Hinamori passed finger through her glass rim. 

"I can see that, I would think he would be the most troublesome of that trio. But even as you're complaining, you're as considerate as you can", Matsumoto headpatted Hinamori. 

"I'm just glad he's congenial and caring in a different way than...yeah" Hinamori almost trailed off. 

It was obvious she meant Aizen. The table felt tense, besides now silent Kira who was eating his ramen obliviously. 

Rangiku-san quickly tried to move the conversation along.

"So what's something that you don't like about your new captain, Hisagi?", she asked.

"Me? I don't really have anything like that", Hisagi shrugged off. 

"Oh c'mon that's boring, I know you idolize the guy but there's gotta be somethiiiing", she said, slurring her words.

There was an attempt to think about something he actually disliked about Captain Muguruma. Nothing came up, there was always a positive spin to it. Maybe there was something small.

"He likes to eat pomegranates and I can't stand the smell", Hisagi answered as if it was a great discovery. 

"Laaame, wait didn't you used to have a crush on me?" Rangiku-san asked, suddenly remembering.

That was a random subject change. He didn't want to make this awkward.

"I never did. You're remembering wrong", Hisagi tried to deny it. 

"I have a keen eye for these things. The way you acted I could tell, being all fidgety and panicky when I got too close", Rangiku san pointed to her eyes. 

"Okay fine, I might have had a slight crush on you. But that's in the far past", Hisagi finished the sake in his cup. 

"But that's the thing, it wasn't. That stopped about three months ago. Around the time the three new captains were assigned", she smiled knowingly.

Hisagi had an inkling of where this conversation was headed. He didn't feel like thinking about that possibility yet. Instead he held a staring contest with Rangiku-san, some seconds passed without either side giving up. 

That was until Kira threw up into a nearby plant pot. Hisagi got up and patted his blonde friend's back, making sure to lift him up when he was done. Hinamori went to pay after Hisagi and Rangiku-san gave her their part along with Kira's. 

Setting Kira's left arm around his own shoulder, Hisagi was about to head to the door. Someone needed to make sure Kira made it to his sleeping quarters in one piece. 

"Hisagi, you know I'm here if you wanna tell me something. I just might poke fun at you but I'm glad if you're happy", her smile turned considerate. 

"Thank you, Rangiku-san. I'll keep it in mind", it was the only thing Hisagi said. 

It was true, he just didn't know how to appreciate his friend's caring nature outloud. As he exited the Izakaya, Hisagi hoped this would become a regular occurrence. Passing time with no bigger worries other than past regrets. 

As he stepped into the night carrying Kira at his side, Hisagi wished this peace of mind he'd had lately would last. Not just for himself, but everyone around him too. 

\---

It was the winter battle all over again, the smell of blood and the sound of swords clashing infested the air. Hisagi held his zanpakuto, dragging his still injured body towards Captain Tousen. Except that wasn't the captain Tousen he knew, not just in appearance but his personality seemed completely different. 

The once attentive and considerate Tousen was insulting and disrespecting his own friend. On the verge of killing him, Tousen didn't seem to want to stop. Captain Komamura who just like Hisagj had tried his best to make him open his eyes, to the horrible way he was going about justice. 

That was when with all the strength he had left, Hisagi flash stepped above Tousen's head and stabbed him. As he released Kazeshini's shikai in a way that pierced his throat, his own hands almost bled from how hard his grip was on it. Hisagi was sure. He was able to do it as this wasn't the person he had once looked up to.

During captain Tousen's last moments he looked and acted how Hisagi had known him, even if it was too late. Seeing captain Tousen cry as he seemed to understand Hisagi and captain Komamura's intentions was heart wrenching. Hisagi went closer to captain Tousen, so he could look at him clearly for what it would be the first and last time. 

The instant Captain Tousen turned into a mere pool of blood, Hisagi could only stare in horror and yell out his name. Waiting for his trusted captain to come back once more. While captain Komamura got enraged and tried to engage Aizen in a fight, captain Tousen's last words echoed through Hisagi.

"Come closer so I can get a good look at you while I still can."

He couldn't even do that, if only he had done it faster. 

In his room, Hisagi woke up in a cold sweat, having some trouble breathing. He reassessed his surroundings, making sure where he was. Taking deep breaths to calm himself down, Hisagi passed a hand through his face in one vertical motion. 

This wasn't the first time he had that memory as a nightmare, but it didn't mean it had gotten much easier. It still was as vivid as the first time, that's why it took him long to realize he had been dreaming. It would be great to not have any someday, but that was maybe what he deserved. 

Hugging his legs and placing his forehead on his knees, no one would see but he still hid his eyes which looked ready to tear up. 

"It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault", his small voice echoed in the room.

One thing was certain, when captain Tousen died, Hisagi lost something he'd never fully recover. 

\---

Kuna Mashiro was an interesting individual. She could drive their captain crazy with anger and kill a common hollow in a second. Hisagi didn't get irritated with her fast. But he would be lying if he said that spending long periods of time with her was very fun. 

Unofficially she had declared herself the ninth division's super vice captain, as odd as it sounded everyone accepted it fairly quickly. Officially she was the third seat, as head captain Yamamoto wouldn't have let her be the exception to satisfy a whim. That didn't stop her from wearing a super vice captain badge she made and making everyone call her by that rank. 

Hisagi was unfortunately one not to say no to her requests sometimes if it meant it would make her stop whining. That's what got him into a sparring session with her. 

They went all the way to Rukongai district forty nine, to have all the space and freedom to do so. Training was good, what wasn't good was that she didn't know how to hold back. 

It was difficult enough fighting someone who only did hand to hand combat with a wooden sword. At one point she just had to add the damn mask. One kick to the stomach had been enough for him to stay on pure defense and concentrate in avoiding her attacks. After a few minutes, the mask broke and he was able to land his first hit. He swung the wooden sword into her waist side causing her to fall down. 

He was about to strike her down when she rolled to the side and acted accordingly. As he landed on the ground, Kuna kicked him in the same place he hit her earlier. He was sent back some steps away but got up fast enough to see her next attack. 

"Mashiro Kick!", she yelled out. 

He moved so the kick only got his shoulder, the impact still sent him down. At the same time he had swung the wooden sword towards her chin sending her upwards. Her body hit the ground moments later after him, he stayed down, not wanting her to think he could keep going. 

"Shuu-tan, you can stop pretending to be knocked out", she said, unconcerned.

"Sorry Kuna. I'm just tired, I'd like to stop for today", Hisagi sat up as he saw her do the same. 

"It's fine, it's fine. I just wanted to test how strong you are and we are tied if I don't put on my mask. I win if I do have it on", she did a peace sign. 

It kind of bothered him that she declared it a win when he had the handicap of the wooden sword. Hisagi didnt let it show on his face, instead he asked something he was curious about. 

"Why don't you ever use your zanpakuto?"

Kuna seemed to be thinking it over, that was rare of her. Hisagi couldn't recall when she wasn't spontaneous and lively.

"I have a shikai but I don't like it. It's too scary looking and even its ability is grotesque. I've only used it once. When I met Kensei as both of us being newbies in the ninth division, I told him. He got angry and yelled, 'so what if you won't use your shikai, you can still get strong by other means", she imitated the last part in his voice. "So I trained intensely with him until I got to the level to be a third seat. When he became captain, I kept training until I became a vice captain that he could call strong." 

Taking everything in, Hisagi was just amazed at how his hero had inspired someone else to that extent. Except he shouldn't have been surprised, captain Muguruma was that great of a person. The fact that he wasn't the only one nor special in any way to him rang in the back of Hisagi's mind. Asking wasn't something he regretted as it was worth it to learn something new about captain Muguruma. 

The way she had explained it was so calm and contemplative, it made him see Kuna in a more positive light.

"My bad, that got uncharacteristically serious of me. Let's head back", she got up and cleaned the dust off her uniform. 

"No need to apologize, I was the one who asked. You're more interesting than I thought" Hisagi let that slip. 

They had more in common than he had originally thought, Hisagi was now glad he gave in to do the sparring session. There was more to her than childish and chaotic energy. He felt like they could get along better now. 

"That's rude, Kensei is rubbing off on you!", Kuna's mouth did an inverted three in exaggerated hurt.

He started following her, though soon came to a stop as she turned around.  
Kuna came closer to him.

"By the way, Kensei and me are like siblings, so don't worry" she said with a big smile on her face. 

"I don't-" Hisagi stopped himself. 

No matter what he said, she probably wouldn't believe him. He wouldn't lie to himself. He'd admit he had sighed of relief internally when she shared that information. As if he had been diving under the sea without an oxygen tank, he could now breath better. 

The black haired shinigami stretched out his fist towards her in a friendly manner, she copied his movement. They fistbumped and continued walking together. 

\---

Going to the living world was a rare event for Hisagi. This was something he wanted to do since the last time he had to come for an errand some months back. Passing by a store, he had seen through a glass something he needed to have. 

That's how in his pay day, after saving a lot of money, he went back to that store. Excited to finally have it, Hisagi was pleasantly surprised the same model he saw last time was still on display. The red kawasaki Z2 was almost calling out to Hisagi to buy it, its beaming surface bewitched him. 

Having never rode a motorcycle before, he got on and started going around Karakura town for a test run. Hisagi took the hang of it fast. The wind hitting his face and sending his hair back, it gave him a liberating feeling. As if all his worries could be left behind as long as he was on top of his new bike. He let a side of his mouth curl upward, it was the most fun he had by himself in the longest time. 

That said, it would be even better if he had someone to share it with. As his face went back to normal, he decided it was time to go to Urahara Kisuke's shop. He needed to buy the gas for the bike as there was no physical fuel for it in soul society. 

Parking the bike on the shop's sidewalk, Hisagi got off to do the shopping. He saw the red haired kid slacking off while the girl with black hair advised him not to. Hisagi went to them. 

"Is the owner here?", Hisagi asked.

"Kisuke-san is inside sorting out through new merchandise" the girl known as Tsumugiya Ururu answered. 

"Thanks, I need to go buy something and I'll leave", Hisagi said, looking at them work. 

"You don't need to be in such a rush, we won't kick you out. We'll even let you stay here if it's an emergency like the redhead freeloader", the boy named Hanakari Jinta commented. 

That was true, Abarai had stayed at Urahara's for some time when the arrancars started attacking this town. Regardless, it wasn't like Hisagi had anything against Urahara. The white and green striped hat man was just too much to handle for someone like Hisagi. He'd rather spend the least amount of time possible there. 

As he entered, Hisagi saw Tsukabishi Tessai come out and scold Jinta. From the few times he had come here, Hisagi still had no idea what the kids were. Pluses? Mod souls? Or maybe a creation like vice captain Kurotsuchi? There was no point in asking, he doubted Urahara would give a straight answer. 

Like Jinta said, Urahara was bent down arranging some weird looking trinkets in some boxes. 

"I came to buy some special gasoline for a bike I just bought. I want to take it back to soul society", Hisagi told the shop owner. 

"Ah yes, Hisagi-san. I have it in the back, let me go get that" Urahara said as he got up. 

"Please do"

"I have a lot of it, what do you say I give you four gallons for the price of two?"

"Are you sure? I'd like that, I can have more without having to spend more" 

"I knew you were an intelligent customer, no tricks here. Just a humble shop owner getting his customers to come back for more", Urahara covered his face with a fan. 

"I see", Hisagi said, dismissing the last part. 

"Alright alright, I'll go for it now", Urahara did as he said this time. 

Hisagi simply stood there for a good minute, eager to get back on his bike. That was when his captain entered the shop along with two other vizards he wasn't really familiar with. The small blonde hair girl was probably Sarugaki Hiyori and the afro guy was Aikawa Love. They seemed to be pushing his captain to help them with something he didn't want. The silver haired man noticed Hisagi. 

"Good thing I see you Shuuhei, let me come back with you to Soul Society", he said, slightly relief in his voice. 

"Sure, captain", Hisagi answered a little too fast. 

"Wait, Kensei didn't you say you were going to help us with whatever Urahara wanted us for today?", Aikawa asked. 

"That's true, Kensei don't be a lying baldy and just keep your word", Sarugaki added. 

"I never said that! I came here for official business and when I finished, I figured it couldn't hurt to see if you guys were still alive. Such a mistake, you two just told me you had something to do here. Never told me I was included in that doing", Muguruma Kensei's face had irritation written over it but his voice had no bite behind it.

It was fascinating seeing him interact with the other vizard. Hisagi always felt he was being given permission to peek to the door that was his captain's unknown past. 

"Here you go, Hisagi-san", Urahara came back with his purchase. 

Giving him the money it cost, Hisagi looked to his captain to make sure if they were leaving now. 

"Let's go, Shuuhei", Muguruma as he headed for the door first. 

"Hey, Kensei. Kick Shinji for me when you get back to soul society", Sarugaki ordered. 

"If you miss him, just go visit him like a normal person", Muguruma said, getting out of the shop. 

"I would never do that for that baldy. Hey you, Kensei's new lacky! Tell Shinji to come here so I can kick him", she pointed at Hisagi. 

"To captain Hirako? I'll let him know his presence is wanted here, if you'll excuse me", Hisagi walked out of there before her anger was directed at himself.

Outside, his captain was waiting next to the bike. Hisagi took a moment to really appreciate Muguruma's side profile.

The piercings in one of his ears complemented his boisterous personality so well. His eyes were the colour of earth kissed by spring rains, the sort that promises to stir life from dormant seeds, the budding plants guided upward by the light before blossoming into the vibrant colours of a new season. 

Before his gaze could explore any lower, captain Muguruma fully turned around. 

"Is this yours? Looks awesome, I've always thought motorcycles were cool, I just never had the chance to get one" his captain said, admiring the shiny vehicle.

"Yes, it's mine. I bought it today, although I had to get permission from the research and development institute first. Already took a test run with it today. I could take you on it if you want", Hisagi offered, his voice not betraying his nervousness for once. 

"Really? You would be the best if you did that", Muguruma gave a small smirk. The kind that made Hisagi feel like a bird soaring through the sky. 

"Of course, I'll open the senkaimon and we'll do so once we're back", Hisagi said, taking his zanpakuto out.

Hisagi opened it, and pushed his bike alongside captain Muguruma towards the senkaimon. Once they passed through it, they found themselves in the twenty-fifth district of Rukongai. It wasn't one of the most violent ones but it wasn't one of the safest either. This ward was fairly deserted and only a few houses could be seen in the distance. 

Hisagi got on his bike, waiting for his captain to do the same. 

"The back? That makes it slightly less awesome but I'll take it. Give me the bag with the extra gas" Muguruma said, extending his hand towards Hisagi. 

"You don't have to, I can do it."

"I said give it to me, I don't want it to obstruct your movements when driving and crash it. Especially since you said you just got it today." 

Without further protest, Hisagi did as he was told. Kensei got on the bike, with the bag around one of his muscled arms. 

"Hang on tight, I'm going to start it", Hisagi said as the bike roared to life. 

He had expected his captain to hug him from behind for support, instead Muguruma grabbed him by the shihakusho in his shoulders. It still had a big effect on Hisagi, the spot where the contact was being made felt as if it was on fire. He could feel his face heating up, hoping it wouldn't spread anymore. To the point the silver haired man would notice, so Hisagi tried to focus on the road. 

Except it was like a balloon was lifting them off the ground and taking them to greater heights together. Hisagi wished with all his might for the balloon to not pop, taking note of his captain taking a tighter hold of his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this story before I even bought the first volume of CFYW so some things wont be updated to how things are there but I tried my best to stick to canon. I hope you enjoy it, its my first time writing for Bleach but I've been a fan since 2012 and the upcoming return of the anime gave me the needed motivation.


	2. Chapter 2

At first, Kensei had been beyond surprised over the invitation to not only go back to soul society, but be given his old position too. Then buried conflicted feelings came swimming to the surface. Anger at central forty-six for treating them as if they had been fault for being experimented on. Disappointment at Yamamoto for never trying to take their side. And finally acceptance of this new opportunity.

The undeniable wish to go back was there. 

It was a shame that not everyone thought the same. Seeing Hiyori, Hachi, Love and Lisa choosing to stay was a difficult sight. It wasn't like he could never see them again, nonetheless seeing his odd family separate made Kensei feel uncertain. 

Regardless, the remaining vizards stepped through the senkaimon with Sasakibe Chojiro. The ones staying in the living world waved them goodbye, minus Hiyori, who had her back turned. 

Nostalgia washed over him like an ocean wave, all the memories from a hundred years ago resurfaced. Most of the buildings looked the same and somehow the air felt similar as well. Mashiro followed Shinji and Rose, so that gave Kensei some breathing room to unpack the few things he brought. His new room felt a little too spacious but he'd make do, it would be interesting to live alone again. 

About ten minutes after he entered the captain's office, he met his new vice captain. Kensei gave him a quick glance, paying attention to the papers on his desk. He seemed like an earnest and serious guy, his name was Hisagi Shuuhei.

For some reason, Kensei felt like he had heard that name before but couldn't place it. Though it wasn't enough to bother him at the moment.

A lot of nervousness emanated from him, probably because of Kensei's intimidating aura like Mashiro frequently said. Like a deer in headlights, he seemed to not know how to react to Kensei. 

Kensei immediately felt a sense of empathy towards him, having had to fight Tosen the deserter. The black haired man had still some bandages, visible in the shoulders as his shihakusho was sleeveless.

He tried the casual approach, but Shuuhei appeared to be the really formal kind.  
Kensei took a good second look, what caught his eye was the big sixty nine tattooed on his left cheek. Same one he himself had on his lower abdomen, the nine from the division he led and six from how Muguruma was written in Kanji. 

Right when he was about to ask what that was about, Mashiro came in. It would have to be a question for later. If he was curious about something, Kensei was always bold enough to be direct about it. The issue was the timing. For now, making sure Mashiro stopped being a baby was more important. 

\---

With time passing, things got into a good rhythm. First, Shuuhei went from fidgety and unsure when talking to him to kinda confident and enthusiastic for the most part. It must be that he sensed Kensei's attempts to act more friendly with smirking more. It was also reassuring how Shuuhei was way more responsible and pleasant to be around than Mashiro generally was. 

Moreover, adjusting back into living in the seireitei again wasn't as hard as he thought. He had been so glad to find out at least Todou had survived that whole ordeal, one hundred and one years ago. They shared the same sad look when they informed Kensei that Kasaki and Eishima had died, he simply told him to stop grieving over the past. The grinding of his teeth right after those words was something Kensei hoped hadn't been heard. 

Other than him, he didn't know most of the current ninth division members. So it was once again, time to learn all their names and something distinctive to remember them quicker. That was also the case with his fellow captains and vice captains, all the new faces had been difficult to keep up with. For the most part, he just socialized with the ones he was already familiar with. 

There was also that one evening where he spent catching up with Kyoraku and Ukitake alongside Shinji and Rose. For that one day, it had felt like the old times. As if there had been no gap between that hellish day and the present. 

There was no way he would admit it out loud, but Kensei missed the rest of the vizards. He had spent so much time complaining about their frustrating habits and quirky personalities. Now it felt a little empty living on his own now that he didn't have to clean after them, and cook. He had grown to love cooking. At the beginning, the cooking was done by turns but as Kensei began to take a liking to it, everyone agreed his was the best. 

Nowadays, there was no real point in cooking big rations. Sometimes he would make more food out of habit, and give the leftovers to Rose and Shinji. There were exceptions, like Mashiro inviting herself to his room. Demanding her favorite, curry and rice. 

He was actually grateful to her for it, having one more person there made the room less big. He had been kind of relieved when Mashiro had announced she'd go back to soul society, and that feeling still remained. Though he'd never let her know, it would only make her act more annoying.

"Kensei, I'm gonna come in", Mashiro asked, entering his office. 

"I've told you to knock before entering, and what's the point in announcing that right after you did it?" Kensei said, feeling a vein already throbbing in his forehead. 

"That doesn't change the fact that I'm gonna be allowed in. So what are you doing?", Mashiro shrugged as she skipped her steps. 

For a brief moment, Kensei considered throwing the mug on his desk towards her. Then calmed down, she would just dodge it or break it anyway. 

"I'm filing a form to go visit the living world", he regretted saying that as soon as he saw Mashiro's face go even more lively. 

"Please let me go with you, I'll behave." 

Well, that was bullshit.

"No, you won't. This is why I don't take you anywhere willingly."

"You were gonna go without me? Mean Kensei, mean", she openly whined. 

"Is that your way of asking nicely?", He gripped his pen tight in exasperation.

"Please, please, please. I'll even clean this office for a week after", she pleaded

"Two and you don't get to come with me next time. Then it's a deal", he said with finality. 

"Fine, stingy Kensei. At least you fill my visit form too", Mashiro made a gesture of looking into a far horizon. 

That was feasible. He figured she must be missing the other half of their family even more. Maybe Kensei had been getting soft on her after that incident, with the arrancar kid punching her away during the Aizen battle.

If it was back in their hideout, she would've just kept bugging him with no reward. Kensei had to admit this was a benefit of being her superior officer again. But that didn't stop her from trying the same tactics. 

A knock was heard from outside the semi opened door. 

"Come in", Kensei said, reorganizing a paper stack. 

It was Shuuhei, looking back and forth between Kensei and Mashiro. 

"Sorry to interrupt, we have our first assignment with the Seireitei bulletin. The captain is usually the editor in chief, so I came to ask if you are going to take that", his vice captain said. 

"I'm done with Mashiro, she can leave. I've told you before that you can come in without knocking", Kensei casually responded. 

"That's unfair! Why does he get special treatment?", Mashiro was visibly pouting. 

"It's not special, it's normal. Unlike you, he's polite and doesn't become an ambulance siren when there's a slight inconvenience", Kensei sighed. 

Mashiro finally left, sticking her tongue out as a last act of defiance. 

"Captain, what is your response for the bulletin?", Hisagi said with a look Kensei couldn't quite decipher. 

"Ah yeah, you can be in charge of it. I don't have time for it or the interest in it. You can take Mashiro as an assistant if it'll help, she might remember how it was done before", Kensei said with his usual frowning face. 

"Understood, I'll let you get back to work", Shuuhei turned to leave.

It had been quick, but Kensei had been able to detect a hint of disappointment in those grey eyes. Probably due to having been told that pain in the ass would be his assistant. It couldn't be helped, Kensei just didn't have the patience to learn and would just get in the way. 

For an unknown reason, seeing that gave Kensei an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He decided he didn't like that look on Shuuhei's face at all. 

"Hey Shuuhei."

"Yes, captain?"

"You've been doing a good job so far. Let's go for drinks sometime in the future, It'll be my invite. Keep up your diligent and fervorous attitude!" Kensei didn't mean to yell the last part. 

"You mean it? Of course, I don't know about me being all that but I try my best", Shuuhei's mood seemed to lighten with that. 

"Think better of yourself! You're dismissed now, get back to work", Kensei said loudly, relieved internally of the change. 

Like that, Kensei could tell Shuuhei would be someone he would keep getting along with. Still, he felt he had met him before, the name feeling very familiar. Finishing his paperwork, Kensei turned off the lights of the office. 

\--

It hadn't even been five minutes since he got out of his room for the day, Kensei headed to the ninth division's captain office. But Shinji and Rose were passing by, chatting about the only hobby they had in common. He'd rather not deal with them this early in the morning, though he didn't have a choice the moment they saw him. 

"Hey Kensei, what are you up to? I haven't seen you in weeks", Shinji said in a curious tone. 

"Don't you see, Shinji? He's left the nest, now that he doesn't live with other eight people. He avoids us so we don't cause him embarrassment from the things we know", Rose added in a theatrical manner. 

"Cut that out, besides you have nothing on me that would embarrass me. I'm going to my office, unlike some slackers who apparently have all the time to socialize", Kensei rebutted, annoyance dripping from his voice. 

"You never know, maybe I do. I have time to socialize not because I'm a slacker, but because I finish everything early. Not something I can say about you two", Shinji said, placing his hands behind his head. 

"I need to take breaks sometimes, all that time relaxing in the living world is costing me now", Rose lamented.

"Just don' make poor Izuru do all the work, I kinda feel bad for the guy" Shinji said.

"Izuru is an angel sent from heaven, he has done so much for the third division. I wish I could do more for him", Rose said, looking contemplative. 

"Surely he would appreciate it if you stopped using your violin, because I know I hated it. Also, the ninth division is always getting more missions and assignments than the fifth and third ones", Kensei interjected.

"You're ignorant about the greatness of music, although I have been using my violin a lot lately. I shall use my guitar instead. What about your vice captain, Shinji?", Rose inquired. 

"She's capable in combat and has been looking better recently. Insisted she could take on her full vice captain responsibilities again, so I let her. But I'm keeping an eye on her, just in case she needs something" Shinji replied, in a somber tone. 

While Kensei hadn't witnessed it, it had been explained to him what happened to her. Adding to the reasons for hating Aizen. He knew Shinji would take care of her well while respecting her wishes to stand back up with her own strength.

"And yours, Kensei?", Rose asked, trying to change the heavy focus from Shinji. 

Just as they were arriving at his office, Kensei saw Shuhei about to knock on the door. 

"Shuhei, I'm here", Kensei yelled out. 

"Ah captain, I just came here to turn in my report in the last routine expedition I did in north rukongai", Shuhei said, extending the papers with his arms towards Kensei. 

"We could just wait until I get there", Kensei responded in a lackadaisical manner. 

Shuhei raised his head, he looked about to have those damn disappointed eyes Kensei couldn't stand. It was so hard to deny him something when he did that. Groaning, Kensei took it aggressively from his vice captain's hands. 

"Did you do it alone?"

"Yes, sir. I would've brought Kuna as support but I couldn't find her."

"Of course Mashiro would be lost when someone needs her. Well done, Shuhei", Kensei said, giving him a thumbs up. 

"Thank you, captain. I'll leave you to it then" , Shuhei flashed a small smile before leaving. 

Behind him, Kensei heard Rose and Shinji chuckling spontaneously. He'd almost forgotten those two idiots were still there. 

"What's so funny?", Kensei turned around.

"We're just proud of you, you've become so considerate", Shinji said, trying to calm his growing laughter. 

"The thumbs up was especially cute", Rose said while mimicking it. 

"I have not", Kensei said, very tempted to punch both of them. 

"No need to be shy, it's obvious you have a soft spot for Shuhei", concluded Shinji. 

"And obviously so does he, for you", Rose said, with a comprehensive smile. 

This wasn't something Kensei wanted to think about, less to discuss with these two. So as the over hundred fifty years old shinigami he was, Kensei went into his office and slammed the door. 

\--

Like he promised, Kensei invited Shuhei for some drinks. It had been a while since he went out to have some fun. Besides Kensei was a little curious how Shuhei would act drunk. Some bonding time with his second in command couldn't hurt. 

Shuhei had waited until Kensei finished his duties. It made him hurry more, even if Shuhei said he didn't mind. 

They went to the most renowned Izakaya place in the seireitei, like most places here, it looked not a day older than Kensei remembered. A few renovations here and there on the outside, but a lot of entertaining events had happened a long time ago. Hopefully, that would be the case today, as well. 

It was loud and jam packed, two very annoying things. Thankfully, Kensei had a reservation for a room away from all that.

Opening the sliding door, Kensei and Shuhei went in. The only objects in the room were a small table on the floor, and two cushions at opposite sides of it. Kensei took the one on the left, sitting cross-legged. Shuhei took a seat in the other one, seiza style. 

A waitress came in to take their order, so Kensei asked for a bottle of their strongest sake. It was the only way alcohol could affect him.

"That would be Gekkeikan, and for the other gentleman?" 

'I'll have that too, bring two bottles please", Shuhei said to the waitress, in an overzealous tone. 

Raising an eyebrow, Kensei doubted Shuhei was that heavy of a drinker. 

"Two udon bowls and a yakisoba, that's it for now", Kensei finished. 

"I'll bring them to you as soon as they're done", the waitress said, closing the sliding door. 

Focusing on Shuhei, Kensei felt the answer would be obvious but he asked.

"Are you sure you can handle that type of sake?"

"Of course! I could drink all night if I wanted", Shuhei falsely boasted. 

We'll see, Kensei thought, there's potential for something amusing to happen. 

After two drinks.

"Captain, what is that?", Shuhei's eyes went as wide as plates. 

"What?", Kensei looked everywhere.

"It looked like the bottle was moving by itself" Shuhei pointed at Kensei's halfway done sake bottle. 

"The bottle never moved", Kensei answered plainly

"I swear it did, believe me", Shuhei still looked surprised. 

"Never mind, you did see it move", Kensei played along. 

"Oh good, wait why is the floor shaking now?", Shuhei moved his hands erratically. 

This wasn't what he had expected, it would get tiring if it continued on. Paranoid Shuhei wasn't the best person to hang out with. 

After four drinks.

"And then Kira was like 'that's why you're not popular' as if I care about that", Shuhei imitated Kira Izuru's voice to a tee. 

A slight flush ran through his cheeks, caused by his tipsiness. He looked surprisingly good like that.

Kensei didn't really care about what he was saying, nonetheless he let him keep going. Seemed Shuhei the complainer had made its appearance. 

"If I did, I wouldn't do half the things I do. I know I'm not but having the most emo guy in the seireitei say it, isn't that sad?", Shuhei sighed profusely. 

His new faces just kept on coming. 

"Why didn't you say that to him?", Kensei rested his chin on his elbow. 

"I dunno. Kira is my friend and I know he didn't mean it in a bully way. Still bothered me, so I said 'you aren't popular either' like an idiot", Shuhei sank into the cushion. 

"I'm not very familiar with him, but I'm sure it would've been fine if you were more honest."

"Probably true."

Seeing him like this, it made Kensei almost reach out his hand towards Shuhei. Instead, he downed another shot. 

After six drinks. 

"Happy food will make others happy", Shuhei said as he created a happy face with the remnants of the yakisoba. 

The final Shuhei drunk phase had come in. Kensei named it, Bubbly Shuhei, as he hadn't stopped smiling in five minutes. It was nice, if only he was able to do that sober. 

An idea popped into Kensei's head, though it might be playing dirty. This was something he really wanted to know, and this was an easy chance.

"Why did you choose that as a tattoo?", Kensei asked expectantly. 

"This one?", Shuhei pointed at it. "Over a hundred years ago, when I was a kid, a shinigami captain saved my life from a hollow.."

Oh, Kensei had a feeling he knew where it was going. However, certainty was necessary.

"And?", Kensei pushed. 

"Ah yeah, he did his best to smile so I would stop crying, but he wasn't good at that. So I kept crying. He was so dazzling, I couldn't believe he'd helped a slum brat like me. He became my hero, and I wanted to become brave like him. I copied the tattoo he had in his lower abdomen, in honor of that. Only a few months ago, I learned his name is Muguruma Kensei", Shuhei said all that with a smile plastered to his face. 

There it was, just because Kensei had seen it coming, it didn't mean he knew how to react to it. That was why Shuhei's name had felt familiar all this time, Kensei had asked him for it. It had slipped his mind, as it had happened the same day as the shittiest event in his life too. 

It had been a coincidence, he had just done his job. Kensei didn't feel worthy of this long lasting devotion. Sooner or later, he most likely would end up letting Shuhei down. He'd hate that even more. 

"But don't tell captain Muguruma, I don't wanna bother him. It's dumb, I want him to think the best of me", Shuhei brought a finger in front of his lips. 

The gesture was almost endearing.

"I see, it doesn't bother him. He already thinks very highly of you, that won't change", Kensei said, a soft expression crossing his features. 

"That was why I entered the shin'o academy in the first place and joooined the ninth division", Shuhei yawned. 

"Is he really that great? Some people think he's too uptight and blunt", Kensei said, curious of what the other man would say.

"Don't listen to those people, they're idiots. I like grumpy captain, but smirking captain is even better", Shuhei giggled.

It was like soap bubbles floating in the air, able to fill the whole room. If Kensei got too close, they might pop and never be seen again. 

Shuhei lunged forward to grab his sake bottle, still a good amount of it left. 

"I think that's enough", Kensei grabbed it at the same time. 

While it had been entertaining seeing Shuhei's drunk adventures, this was close to being too much. 

"No, I want...want more", Shuhei pulled the bottle towards himself. 

This little tug war kept going for a few seconds, until Kensei did it with more force than intended. The bottle fell to the tatami mat, spilling its contents. It sent Kensei back, Shuhei landing on top of him. His forearms were at each side of Kensei's head, their noses almost touching. 

It was as if Kensei was really looking at Shuhei for the first time ever. They were so close to each other, he could count the number of eyelashes in Shuhei's eyes. Those grey eyes shined like diamonds, rough and beautiful. His toned muscles trapped Kensei in a position he didn't necessarily dislike. 

Finally, Kensei's attention dropped to Shuhei's lips. They had a glossy appearance, probably because of the sake. If he moved up even two inches, their lips would touch. 

Shuhei's face started to fall, so Kensei stayed still. Except Shuhei's face moved to the left at the last moment, landing on Kensei's shoulder. 

Letting out a sigh, unsure if it was out of displeasure or relief, Kensei stared at the ceiling. The man on top of him snoring, oblivious to all the mix of emotions he had caused. 

Okay, Shuhei was attractive, he'd admit that. That was all it was. He could deal with that.

He moved Shuhei to the side, the slowest and most careful way he could. Kensei started to get up, with the intention of leaving along with a man his own height asleep. He felt a hand grab his shihakusho from the lower leg part. 

"Captain, don't go. Not you too, please", Shuhei mumbled, his eyes still shut. 

Kensei took his hand off his shihakusho. Opting to pass Shuhei's legs through his arms, effectively lifting him on his back. 

"I'll never abandon you, got that? You can be sure of that", Kensei said sternly, right before opening the sliding door. 

"Thank you", Shuhei said quietly, relaxing once again into deep sleep. 

Making a promise to himself, Kensei would do his best for the new weight on his back. He'd never disappear from his life, even if it cost him. 

\---

After having trained for two hours, Kensei was resting . Sitting down, he set his zanpakuto on his lap, and closed his eyes. The open field was particularly silent, perfect for relaxing with a tired Tachikaze. Everyone usually avoided him when he practiced with his bankai, it got quite intense. It made focusing a lot easier.

That said, it made it less challenging. Despite that, he didn't feel like asking other captains to spar. That battle crazed Kenpachi would probably say yes, but he'd take it to extremes. He'd become a pain in the ass to avoid later, like apparently Ichigo had to do. 

Mashiro might accept, though he'd rather lose a finger than admit he didn't mind spending time with her sometimes. Then there was Shuhei, he said yes to most things that came from Kensei. It was better not to stress him by giving him more tasks to do. 

The grass started to rustle next to him, indicating someone else had arrived. He would have reached for Tachikaze had he not noticed the familiar reiatsu. One he had become accustomed recently, it was like sun rays coming out on a cold day. 

The person sat down a few meters from him. Three minutes passed, the other's gaze could be felt fiercely, so Kensei decided to break the silence.

"How long are you gonna stare at me, Shuhei? You can speak up", Kensei said, his eyes still closed.

"I didn't- I wasn't, I thought you might have been talking to Tachikaze and I didn't want to interrupt", Shuhei said rapidly, stumbling in his words. 

Opening his eyes, he saw Shuhei in front of him. He wasn't far enough for the slight red in his face to go unnoticed. It made Kensei a little satisfied to know that he was able to cause that effect on him. 

"You can relax, I dont have nothing to talk about with him right now. Just be careful, I might be so dazzling for you that you won't be able to see", Kensei continued with a lackadaisical tone. 

Shuhei's face turned as red as a tomato, opening and closing his mouth repeatedly. It was quite the magical sight. 

"How much did I say about that the other night? It's kind of fuzzy", Shuhei asked sheepishly. 

"What do you remember?", Kensei asked, curiosity in his voice.

"I think I complained about Kira, I shared my story about when you saved me, and kept talking to you as if you were someone else. I...don't remember much else", Shuhei said looking away.

That was most likely a lie, Kensei let him keep that to himself. It must be too awkward to have been in that position with his captain, regardless if he admires him.

"Yeah all of that happened, but I'll let you figure out the rest. Don't worry, there's nothing you did that would require an apology", Kensei waved his hand quickly to show that. 

"That's a bit of a relief, just a little. Captain, I did mean that, you are my biggest inspiration", Shuhei responded earnestly. 

Those sincere eyes were too much for Kensei, he hoped he'd live up to them someday. 

"By the way, how did you find me? This rukongai district is fairly desolated."

"I followed the clouds", was simply Shuhei's response. 

"Huh? Clouds? How does that even work?" Kensei asked, very confused. 

Gracefully, Shuhei sat down by his side, maintaining a professional distance. 

"Do you see that cloud? I think it looks like you, in a running position towards here", Shuhei pointed to a specific point in the sky. 

Squinting to try and make up a coherent form out of that particular cloud, Kensei used his arms to support himself in the grass behind him. That didn't help.

"I don't see it. Are you sure it's that one? It looks to me more like a gingerbread cookie man to me", Kensei said, unsure of what he was even doing.

"It totally looks like you, captain. A lot of imagination is needed for cloud watching", Shuhei said, the smile almost could be heard on those words. 

"I have plenty of imagination. For example, the one to its left looks like your choker", Kensei said, looking at a bunch of clouds in a circle.

"I see it. That's really good, you do have a good eye for this. I'm still better, I found one that looks like Kuna's mask", Shuhei's hand led them to it. 

It actually looked a little like it, an oval with two lines coming off it. Kensei was getting the hang of this, certainly a great way to unwind. Simply getting lost with Shuhei in the vast world above, it would be nice if this could happen more often. 

They kept at it until they were out of shapes in the sky.

That was when Kensei remembered something. Coming off an odd high, Kensei wanted to let Shuhei know that they could have a more serious conversation.

"Did you have something specific you wanted to talk about?", Kensei looked at Shuhei.

"Captain, you had captain Tousen as your third seat back then, right?", Shuhei's shoulders stiffened. 

"Yes, he killed some of my men and backstabbed me. I never expected it, as a result, Mashiro and me were turned into hollowfication experiments", Kensei said in a harsh tone, not wanting to reminisce.

"So it was that far back. Aizen had already clawed his way to captain Tousen's soul. There was no way I could've changed his outlook on the world", Shuhei muttered, almost to himself. 

It was obvious this had been eating at him, Kensei just wasn't sure to what extent. In a sense, both were betrayed by the same man, albeit in different ways. Their relationship with him had been opposites too, one had him as superior and the other as subordinate. One started only blaming himself while the other only blamed others at first. 

Not to mention, Shuhei kept calling Tousen captain, after he deserted and had gone against soul society. It was as if he didn't want to put any blame on Tosen for his actions. 

"I didn't know Tousen very well, I never really tried. I also share some fault in that, we both couldn't do anything to stop him from becoming a traitor. But he was able to make his own choices, being one of the two people who never saw Aizen's shikai", Kensei furrowed his brow. 

Shuhei stayed silent, his face full of contradictory feelings. Like he knew what Kensei said was true but couldn't bring himself to accept it yet. 

"Somewhere within me, I am aware that it's not fair for anyone to solely blame myself. It's something I can't control", Shuhei said with a pained look in his eyes. "I just know that if it wasn't for Aizen, captain Tousen wouldn't have done all that. I believe he had his reasons and they became twisted with Aizen's influence." 

Seeing Shuhei like that was like being thrown into a blizzard without the proper clothing. Kensei hated it, it wasn't something he ought to bear alone. So this was a necessary process, for him to deal with all those harrowing feelings. 

"Then that's how it is until your beliefs change. Have more confidence in your decisions Shuhei!", Kensei raised his voice in an encouraging manner. "You did what you could, it's not your fault if someone consciously rejects your outstretched hand while falling off a cliff. Keep your chin up!"

Shuhei gave him a small smile, his eyes looking a little determined now. He sat straighter, and said one thing.

"I'll do my best, sir!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to show the other perspective of the first scene in chapter 1, but that will be the only time I'll do it since I prefer to show new scenes a lot more. Also the names of the sake drinks are real but they're not known to be strong liquor so you'll have to imagine they are lol


	3. Chapter 3

It was that time every two years, when the seireitei bulletin released a new publication. Everyone in the journal department was already ingrained in their writing, being as efficient as possible. The air was filled with productivity, something the ninth division prided themselves in.

Hisagi had experience being a section editor for decades now, the 'Ask Shuhei' corner was proof of that. It was about ten different people with pen names consulting him for advice in various topics. It was a fairly popular part of the news bulletin, it surprised him a bit when finding out. People wanted to know his opinion on so many things, even though he wasn't anyone special. 

It was fun, helping people that way, regardless if their problems were big or small. Giving the most honest and heartfelt comments was always something Hisagi made sure to do. 

Now that he was the editor in chief, he not only had to write his own section, but supervise everyone else's too. It would be easier if captain Muguruma was here, his presence alone could help him feel a little more at ease. Hisagi shook his head, there was no need to rush, the deadline was still months away. This was something he could do by himself, it was the same just on a bigger scale. He could almost hear his captain scolding him, aggressively reminding Hisagi to stop underestimating his own skills again. 

The fact that Muguruma Kensei believed in his unrelenting capabilities and resilient personality, caused Hisagi to smile briefly. Like a flower blooming as it bathed in the moonlight, stretching ever so slightly to the one that was truly giving it life. If only the moon would realize the flower's desire to get closer, would it do the same? 

How delightful it would be, if that was the case. 

Refocusing on his work at hand, he looked at the current message chosen to appear in his section. The person seemed to be quite troubled in what was best regarding love. He was stuck on what would be the right thing to say. 

-Hello Shuhei-san,  
I'm roubai, I hope this makes it to the print. Isn't the new bakery that opened in the seireitei so nice? They have all kinds of bread and cake, it gives a refreshing feeling to the rest of this place. 

Anyway, I'm almost sure I'm falling in love with someone. The thing is that he's my superior officer, and while it's not forbidden, it could get very uncomfortable if he doesn't feel the same way. I'm also scared if he does, that I'll get hurt eventually. I've gone through a lot of pain due to a person I loved and held in my highest esteem. What do you think I should do?-

Tapping his chin with a pen, Hisagi searched for the right advice he could give. Roubai's situation sounded similar to his own. Unless their past painful experience had been romantic then it would be more different. They would be interesting to have a conversation with, but that's an difficult intimate topic to approach in person. This was the best way to ask for help without an awkward atmosphere. Hisagi could understand that. 

-Dear Roubai-san,  
I hope you're dealing with what the other person did in healthy ways. The best would be for you to not be near them anymore, seems it really affected you negatively. I think the best would be for you to wait, until you're ready to let your superior know that you have feelings for him. Take your time until you're sure that he'll treat you in the best way, there's no shame in building your confidence in yourself first. Hang in there! Thank you for consulting me.-

Leaving the pen on the desk, Hisagi cracked his neck and did the same with his fingers. He tried getting rid of the rigidness from sitting down for a long period of time, but it couldn't be helped. It was less stressful and creative in comparison to the field work.

It wasn't much, regardless if these words reached Roubai they might help them somehow. In a way, it was easier saying that to someone else than doing it himself. But he'd get there eventually. Like a three legged dog learning to walk again. 

"Vice captain, could you help me with a part of my section that involves captain Hirako?", Todou almost appeared out of nowhere.

It startled Hisagi a little.

"What are you having difficulty with?", Hisagi asked, in a business like tone. 

"I need to go ask captain Hirako specific questions about the war, to get his point of view. But I never seem to find him in his office or outside of it. Since you're well acquainted with his vice captain, would you consider doing it for me?", Todou bowed. 

Well Hisagi was close to finishing his section, so he could. It was also a chance to check on Hinamori without being overbearing. 

"I will, but I can do it next time. I could've had an extra section. You can go home if you're done with what was available. Lastly, there's no guarantee I'll get an appointment soon" Hisagi stated.

"Understood. Thank you, sir", Todou stopped bowing and cleaned his work space.

Checking the clock, Hisagi concluded he should do the same thing. 

\---

Laying down in pastures green as lemons, Hisagi's eyelids were shut, shade rained over him from a nearby tree. He wasn't one to take a leisurely break like this often. Usually he'd avoid spending too much time by himself recently. Unhelpful thoughts would invade his mind, insecurities and guilt stabbing him left and right. So far today, it hadn't happened. 

He had come here requested by Kuna, something about having a bonding session together. Hisagi had tried to reject the offer, and had been unsuccessful, as if she had a superpower that made it impossible to say no to her. Even captain Muguruma very grumpily gave in to what she wanted most of the time. 

In that sense, Hisagi really respected her as a co-vice captain. Her tenacity and child like approach to life were even enviable to an extent. It was petty for him to do so, yet it couldn't be helped. 

Thirty minutes had passed from the time she had told him to be there. That's why he had taken the laid back approach on waiting. Kuna could be very volatile so no point in being proper. If nothing happened in the next ten minutes, he'd leave. 

Like a thick mist surrounding everything, something mortifying slid in the valley of his mind. What if captain Tousen had never been genuine with him? All of his guidance felt hollow for a panicked moment. Hisagi's whole philosophy that he learned from him, someone who isn't afraid isn't worthy of holding a sword. Did it have any meaning now?

It most likely did, Hisagi was just being quick on thinking negatively about a lot of his relationship with captain Tousen. His previous captain's heart resided within him, their connection would remain because of that. 

A gentle wind greeted him from his right, his shihakusho rustling with it. He sensed a presence flash stepping behind him, Hisagi recognized it with no effort. He made no effort to move or speak, wanting to know what the other person would do. 

"Are you pretending to sleep or waiting for someone to wake you up?", that deep but teasing voice took all of Hisagi's attention instantly. 

Raising his head in an attempt to sit down, Hisagi ended up hitting his forehead with something just as solid. He opened his eyes as he rubbed his forehead, and his current captain came into view. Captain Muguruma checked his own forehead, looking like he stumbled backwards. 

"Shuhei, what the hell? Couldn't you have opened your eyes first? Warn me next time", Muguruma-san said, slightly annoyed. 

"Sorry captain, you just took me by surprise. I thought you were further away. I'll pay better attention so that it doesn't happen again", Hisagi bowed repeatedly.

The embarrassing occurrences just kept going with Muguruma-san. First the reintroduction, then the drunken incident and now this. He wouldn't mind if the ground swallowed him right now. Only time he got to show off his cool side was the motorcycle ride, which was amazing. 

Stop being lame in front of someone so important to you, Hisagi thought. 

"Enough with the apologizing, it's also my fault. If I hadn't wanted to take you off guard, it would've been less of a hassle. But where's the joy in that? Like car mirrors say, 'objects in mirrors are closer than they appear'. My bad for getting too close without thinking", Muguruma-san said as he sat down in a more comfortable position. 

"Ah no, it's fine. I've never been inside a car so I don't really know about that", Hisagi said, trying to mask how that last line had made him a mess. 

"That's fair. To get around Karakura town in a normal fashion, each vizard would get a license every fifteen years to cover the non aging issue. Mashiro's and my turn never arrived as we came back here before that. So I've been inside a car plenty of times but never learned how to drive", Muguruma-san said, his eyes tinged with cheeriness. 

As always, Hisagi was thrilled to learn more about him. Especially with the way he seemed to be in high spirits when telling past stories. 

"An ingenious plan. I doubt Kuna would've made a great driver, but believe you would've been a great one", Hisagi raised a fist enthusiastically.

"Oh man, if Mashiro had gotten a license, I would've refused to get in a car with her driving even if someone paid me. I don't know about me, everyone always dumbly joked I would get road rage. Lisa was the one to come up with the idea, and it amazed everyone when it worked the first few times. Though Hiyori was only able to get a learner's permit with how she looks, regardless we managed", Kensei said, with an unmistakable fondness to his voice.

"I guess we won't know but I think you would be one that would just let things go, you have good self control. Yeah I wouldn't trust Kuna with something like that, unless I'm wearing a gigai. I can imagine that with Sarugaki, but don't tell her I said that."

"Thanks for the good faith, you're the only one who says that. Gotcha, I'll protect you from her anytime."

"Of course, it's no secret how deeply I admire you. Hold on, are you making fun of me? You're used to her but her aggressiveness I'd like to steer clear of."

"Maybe, yeah. That's understandable, Hiyori is not very sociable. She doesn't really listen to anyone other than Love. They're like older brother and sister."

"Really? I would've thought she'd be like that with Captain Hirako too."

"She does after smacking him around, their relationship is more complicated."

Hisagi simply nodded, curious about the vizards in general. 

"By the way, I don't mean to be rude but why are you out here? I don't think Kuna will arrive here like she said she would", Hisagi scratched his chin in puzzlement. 

"You too? She kept whining to train with me here so I came and found you. The clumsy moron probably forgot", Muguruma-san said, nonchalantly. 

Could this be a coincidence? No way Kuna was this much of a planner. Either way, he would make sure to thank her in some way later. 

"So now that we were both forgotten, do you want to talk about anything? I'm already here", Muguruma-san passed a hand through his own hair. 

A lot of things, but Hisagi went with what was bothering him earlier. To be sure of his convictions, and for Muguruma-san to stay longer with him.

"Captain, you know how I see fear as something essential for a warrior. It was captain Tousen who helped me by teaching me that. Do you think that's what he wanted? I mean, to help me with those words", Hisagi asked, fully attentive to what the man next to him would say. 

"You really like asking hard questions,huh" Muguruma-san looked towards the sky, barely any clouds to be seen. "He never shut up about that, and to this day I'm not fully sure what he meant by it. I never really did try to understand him. I do think he said those words in hopes you'd put them to good use. You made it through tough times by holding them close. If that's not the case anymore, it might be time to reevaluate", Muguruma-san looked back at Hisagi.

"You're probably right. I'm being disrespectful to captain Tousen for thinking otherwise. It's just what has made the most sense for so long. Because of those words I was able to face being powerless in battle", Hisagi touched the three scars that went vertically past his left eye.

"Think back to what you were truly protecting in that fight against Tosen. At the end of the day, it's not about what he wanted you to get out of it. What you gained from his teachings is what really matters", Muguruma pointed at Hisagi's chest.

Digging into his own mind for the answer, Hisagi very hesitantly tried to remember. What had driven him to stop captain Tousen at all costs? Saving captain Komamura's life? The way he saw the person as someone other than captain Tousen? Those were true, however the main reason was something else. 

"What I wanted to protect the most was captain Tousen's heart by preventing him from committing something he'd regret. And by extension all that he stood for, in my eyes at least. For all the ideals I inherited from him to remain pure and untainted", Hisagi spoke with certainty in his voice, there a little more light in his eyes.

"There you have it. Keep in mind that you don't have to follow them to a tee. There are so many more important things to feel in battle, not just fear. It can be good if you don't feel it at all, but it might be too soon for that"

"Still I-"

"You have to realize there's more than fear in your world. You can fight proudly, angrily, sadly or whatever it is you're feeling."

Hisagi's eyes widened, something so simple had escaped him. Suddenly the fog that had been haunting him started clearing out, making Hisagi able to see something on the other side. He had needed a new perspective, one that he hadn't been able to dig by himself. 

"I'll try, it's not something I can put into use currently. There is more than one way to protect these values, even if the person couldn't be saved. The essence of what made him who he was can be preserved", Hisagi showed a smile tinged with sadness.

"Remember, one step at a time. Eventually, you'll get to the point you feel the most comfortable in", Muguruma-san said in his most soothing tone. 

Those words really helped take a lot of pressure off Hisagi's shoulders. He could breathe more easily now, his priorities having been organized and clear.

Muguruma-san reached his hand towards Hisagi. He patted Hisagi's head, passing his fingers through the hair. The longer it went, the hotter his face became. His whole body was solely focused on that lingering pleasing sensation. The moment his hand stopped and left, Hisagi used all his self control to not move closer to it. 

Keeping his eyes on the ground, Hisagi didn't trust himself to not do something his captain would dislike him for. He had accepted his own feelings regarding this, though it didn't make it less painful. When he looked up, Muguruma-san was already up with his heel turned.

"Thank you, captain! Have a safe trip back", Hisagi's voice was full of gratitude.

"Sure, see ya Shuhei. I got stuff to do", Kensei said without looking back. 

Naturally, he buried his face in the ground and groaned in frustration. It was no surprise his captain would bolt out of there, after such a discomfiting display of his growing affection. 

\---

Passing through the main quarters of the third division, a disconsolate Kira was watering Ivory roses. The garden surrounding the offices was big enough for various other plants and flowers to grow. Walking towards him, Hisagi decided to spark a conversation with his blonde friend. 

"Yo, Kira. What are you up to?"

"Hello Hisagi-san, I'm taking care of these roses. Captain Ootoribashi planted them and asked me to do this once in a while. Talk to them too, although that's a little weird", Kira explained calmly. 

"I see, are you still having trouble getting along with him?"

"Not anymore. Well he isn't one of my favorite people in the world but it's not a drag to be around him either."

"What changed?"

"I think I realized I needed something drastically different to before", Kira paused before continuing more extensively. "I stopped focusing on the small details and paid attention to the bigger picture. Captain Ootoribashi can be needlessly dramatic, yet one thing is certain. He's easy to see through, as he wears his heart in his sleeve."

"I'm glad you came to that epiphany because I'm sure Hinamori and I had that mindset from the get go. You're the one that lasts longer to adapt to change", Hisagi pointed out. 

"Not always..", Kira tried to feebly deny it. 

"Anyway, so then why were you looking all gloomy there? Don't tell me something like that's how your face looks all the time."

"I wouldn't, even if it's true. It's just that with all the busy work I've had, there hasn't been a chance to attend the male shinigami association."

Getting an urge to press his hand against his own face, Hisagi made the most bothered face he could muster. 

"That was it? I haven't gone to them either, lately. And I thought it was something serious", Hisagi shook his head. 

"I kinda feel bad for Iba-san, he might be a little lonely with most people not going", Kira said, looking at the ground. 

"You're too nice, Kira. I'm sure he knows it's not because of us not wanting to spend time with him. Besides, Omaeda always goes, he's not bad company."

Both men stared at each other, knowing full well the last part was a blatant lie.

"I'll let Iba-san know I'll try and make it to the one happening next month. I can do it for you too, Hisagi-san."

"Sure, if you don't mind. I want to go to the tenth division right now, so see ya", Hisagi said, taking a step to the right without looking. 

"Take care, Hisagi-san. Be careful to not step on any of the other plants and flowers", Kira gestured to the rest of the garden. 

"Same, and I haven't done it yet so I wouldn't do so now", Hisagi said, before remembering something. "If I recall correctly, I heard Ayasegawa say once what Ivory roses mean. In flower language it represents charm, thoughtfulness and gratefulness. If they're given to someone then they care about you."

Kira's only visible eye got a little bigger for a second, and smiled for the first time in months. 

"Thanks for letting me know. That captain of mine sure is a handful", Kira said, content reaching his voice.

\---  
The smell of peony perfume and sake in the wake of midday let Hisagi know that Rangiku-san was in captain Hitsugaya's office. The door was open, regardless he announced his entrance, out of politeness. He found her very easily, sprawled out on the big couch she usually rested on. Rangiku-san's voluptuous chest slowly went up and down suggesting she was in a light sleep. Hisagi reconsidered talking to her right now, better to not bother her.

Moving back to the door, he stumbled with a wooden table and the sake bottle fell to the floor before he could reach to catch it. He looked back at her, seeing his attempt to leave her asleep failed.

"Hm? Who is it? It's not business hours", she said with her eyes closed and letting out a yawn. 

"It's me, Rangiku-san. You can go back to sleep, it's nothing urgent", Hisagi said, raising his hands to the sides. 

"Hisagi? It's fine, I need to wake up before my captain comes back anyway", she said stifling another yawn and sitting down. 

"I remembered how you told me that if I wanted to talk about something regarding captain Muguruma, I could confide in you", he said in a quieter voice.

"Ohh right, tell me everything. Don't be shy. Just so we're on the same page, you are aware that you're head over heels for him. And that's why you're asking the love guru Rangiku-san", she now fully awake, excitedly tapped the open space on the couch. 

He complied and sat next to her, doubting the skills of this self proclaimed love guru.

"I wouldn't really say head over heels. For starters, is it that obvious?"

Turning to see her reaction, it was the embodiment of 'oh honey, you don't even know that'. Well damn. 

"Okay, I got it. Do you think he knows?", Hisagi said, his eyes looking like slits. 

"If you don't know when you're the one who spends most of the time with him besides that Kuna girl, then I won't. If I had to take a guess it would be a no, he seems the type to not care about romance until it comes crashing on his doorstep. So like you", she pointed at him.

"Is it normal that I can speak normally to him but the moment he gets too close, I just lose my mind? It is better than the beginning when just being in his presence made my brain go blank", Hisagi nodded. 

"Totally, and like you said it's getting easy to be with him without freaking out. Do you need help on something specific?", she asked.

"Exactly that. How can I make it so I can be more calm when that happens?", he reiterated. 

"I have the perfect remedy. Create a little ritual that helps you reset your thoughts to something else", Rangiku-san pointed her finger up. 

"Like what?", Hisagi's curiosity dripped from his voice. 

"Take a hold of your chin with your right hand like in deep thought. Visualize something boring and unappealing to bring you back to earth", she did it to show him how. "First think of something embarrassing related to him."

Hesitantly he did as he was told, the drunk incident came to mind first. His memory was hazy but calling the captain a likeable grump and falling asleep on top of him was unforgettable. The next morning once he had fished that memory, he had screamed onto his pillow for a good minute. 

"That's good enough, I can already see you blushing. Now the ritual", she says pointing at his hand. 

He imitated Rangiku-san's gesture. Something boring and unappealing? Iba-san ranting about the shinigami men association needing a new room to hold the meetings. That mental image served as a curtain to hide the drunken incident. 

"That does the trick. You look your normal skin color again. It's quick but not too much so it doesn't look unnatural", Rangiku-san informed him proudly. 

"Great, thank you. It'll definitely come in handy later", Hisagi thanked her. 

"So, what was the embarrassing thought you came up with?", Rangiku-san smiled coyly. 

"Not telling you, it could become ammunition for you to use against me later", Hisagi denied her without a second thought. 

"What could I have ever done to be treated with such wariness!", Rangiku-san exclaimed in a joking manner. "Don't worry, you'll be fine."

She booped him on the nose playfully. Hisagi blinked at the action. Not too long ago, Rangiku-san had been at the receiving end of Hisagi's non reciprocated feelings. He hadn't confessed, she asked him about it and he timidly said the truth. The actual rejection had been way less pain inducing than he had anticipated. 

The maturity and understanding from the woman next to him had made it possible to keep their friendship more or less the same. It had been such a relief, her friendship was too precious for him. His days would be less bright without her radiant personality. 

"What? You're not saying anything. Don't overthink it, he totally behaves way nicer with you. Even if he doesn't feel the same, it's not the end of the world", she continued with a reassuring smile. 

"If you say so, I think he's kind to everyone in his own tough way. And yeah, I keep telling myself that in order to believe it", he gives her a light smile in return. 

"You're all set lover boy, or is there something else you want to chat about? You know I'm all about that gossip", Rangiku-san responded in a lively voice. 

That was pretty much it. Most of captain Muguruma's worries had been placated. If anything, he felt some selfishness gnaw at the back of his throat. All they talked about was his problem, she probably had hers and didn't try to burden him with it. Rangiku-san was always taking care of her fellow vice captains, it was almost disturbing how easy he had forgotten her hellish experience in the winter battle. 

Only ten months had passed since a huge chunk of her abdomen had been torn off by that monster Ayon. It had been scarily close in the dance with death for her, thankfully Kira had been there with the emergency healing. That must've been traumatic enough, yet after all was done, he could tell there was something disconsolate about her. It didn't last long, but it had been there. Hisagi had felt it intrusive to even insinuate she was dealing with something, very personal. 

Relationships involved mutual support, and friendship was no exception. There would be no opening up if he didn't try to find the key to that door. 

"Rangiku-san, if you ever need-"

"Matsumoto!", a wild captain Hitsugaya stormed in.

"Captain, what are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with Hinamori. You're sneaky", Rangiku-san said in a sickly sweet tone. 

"You idiot. She was the one to tell me and procure how I was doing. Somehow Hinamori was worried I've been training too much, as if she's the one in better shape", captain Hitsugaya went to sit on his chair. 

"How cute", she covered her mouth with a hand.

"Get on with your paperwork. I bet you haven't even started it", Captain Hitsugaya said visibly tired. 

"It's so much, just seeing the enormous pile drains me of all energy. Talking to Hisagi is way more fun", Rangiku-san complained with comically huge eyes. 

That made Hisagi compare her with Kuna for a split second. He wondered if they got along, it would be interesting to see.

"I don't care, it's your responsibility and you have to do it. You're going to have to leave, Hisagi. Can't keep her distracted", Captain Hitsugaya's tone gave more of an order than a suggestion vibe.

"Of course, I let you two to your work", Hisagi stood up and headed for the exit. 

"Ah Hisagi, what was it that you were gonna tell me?", Rangiku-san asked.

"Just if you ever want to talk about something, you can talk to me. Thanks again, I appreciate it", Hisagi said with utmost truthfulness. 

"We'll see, one of these days could happen, thanks for the offer. In case you need it again, I'm here for it too", Rangiku-san quickly gave him a peace sign, her insight was as sharp as her sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slight delay, I decided to add one more scene. I hope this will be to everyone's liking!  
> Also, the ritual thingy its inspired by Kaguya-sama s2 lol


	4. Chapter 4

Traveling on the back of Hisagi's bike had become Kensei's favorite way of transportation. This was only the second time he rode on it, yet it was an otherwordly experience again. Like running on water while holding onto someone else, the two of them gliding in the river that was Karakura town's highway. 

Earlier that day, his permission slip to visit the world of the living was approved. It was officially to acquire materials for his everyday life that weren't available in soul society. In truth, it was to buy necessary cake ingredients that were only sold in Karakura town. Also, to pay a visit to the vizards who still lived in the old warehouse. 

Being the good-hearted man Hisagi was, he offered to take him where he wanted in Karakura town. Various reasons to refuse crossed Kensei's mind; flash step is a thing, I'll be in a gigai so I can use a taxi, and walking is a good exercise. Instead he complied, telling him to not be late. 

Now, as the rapid wind hit his face and messed with his hair, Kensei enjoyed the vast blue sky above him. He looked down to where he was firmly grabbing onto Hisagi's tank top straps, it almost looked like a horse's reins. Kensei almost smiled at the ridiculous comparison, but there was no way he would grab him by the shoulders or hug him. There was a chance composure would be lost to the point he might fall off the bike. 

As they neared the warehouse, Kensei's directions guided them through the many roads and alleyways. He kept his distance from saying it directly next to Hisagi's ear, but close enough to be heard. The roaring of the bike's engine died as they arrived at Kensei's old home, he could hear his family's voices from outside.

Getting off from the motorcycle in one quick move, he saw Hisagi do the same and park it there. 

Catching Shuhei from his peripheral view, his vice captain was trying to placate wild hairs into place. Then, proceeded to adjust his already ironed clothes. Kensei raised an eyebrow in slight confusion. 

The clothes Shuhei was wearing fitted him rather nicely. Black sneakers, black jeans tight enough around his thighs, and a white tank top that hung loosely around his waist. There was no need to fix anything, he looked stunning already. 

Debating whether to say anything about it, Kensei scratched his head. Screw it. 

"You don't have to do all that. You look presentable, they won't care. It's not like old man Yamamoto is there."

Shuhei remained silent, so Kensei kept going. 

"Just my annoying friends, look at what I'm wearing", Kensei pointed at his own clothes. 

It was his trademark outfit, he couldn't be bothered with something more elaborated. The dark purple A-shirt with a white trim, green cargo pants, black combat boots and the pair of orange fingerless gloves. It was basically a second skin by this point. 

"You look beyond stylish to me, captain. I'm ready now", Shuhei responded with outmost candor. 

Kensei heard the compliment but ignored it, not knowing how to take it. 

"That's the spirit, besides you've already met two of them. Also, you don't have to call me captain here", he slapped Shuhei in the back. 

"Right, sorry captain", Shuhei said almost out of breath. 

Must've hit him harder than necessary, gotta keep that in check. He opened and closed his hand twice, with the same hand, Kensei opened the metal door to the warehouse. 

The inability to call him by something other than his title had failed again, but it had been worth the try. 

Everyone turned toward the door to see who came in. Lisa and Love were sitting on opposite sides of the couch. She was holding a magazine with a girl in a bikini, he was holding an old issue of Jump. Hachi was peeking his head from the kitchen, and Hiyori was laying down on the floor, watching some movie on the new TV. 

It had only been a few months since he saw these guys, yet it felt like a lot more. Had to be because he wasn't stuck with them daily anymore. 

"Kensei? What brings you to our humble abode?", Lisa was the first to speak.

As warm of a welcome as ever, her bangs were now trimmed evenly right above her eyebrows. One more had joined the change of look squad, making it half of the vizards to renovate their hair. 

"Can't I come here whenever I feel like it? I lived here too. I came to town to buy some stuff in the supermarket and happened to pass by", Kensei said, displeasure dripping from his tone. 

"So you didn't come here specifically to see us? Lame, also emphasize 'lived', past tense", Lisa quipped back with a straight face. 

"That's right, didn't even bring us any souvenirs", Love chimed in. 

"Do you want me here or not? Which is it? And of course I didn't bring anything of the sort. Your lazy asses can go and buy whatever", Kensei said, vexed at the conversation. 

"I'll have you know my adult book store is about to be opened in the seireitei. That took work and dedication, those are directed at things I'm interested in", Lisa said with a condescending look from behind her glasses. 

"Shaddup, I'm trying to watch something. Yes, Kensei is here, grill him less loudly", Hiyori snapped at them in a louder voice. 

They went on anyway, it was at Kensei's expense so he wasn't at risk. Love was basically untouchable and Lisa would just dodge or block. Hiyori had to be restless not having anyone to hit. 

After a few minutes, Lisa was the one to notice Shuhei at the edge of the door. 

"Who's that", she asked. 

"My vice captain, he offered to give me a ride here and back", Kensei responded off handedly. 

"Hmm that's interesting, I sort of remember Love mentioning him before", Lisa contemplated with an indescifrable look. "Come here. We don't bite, well only Hiyori when she's having a bad day."

"Which is most days", Love said unhelpfully. 

"I heard that, you jerks! Next time it happens, I won't be so nice", Hiyori aggressively said, with a slipper in hand. 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Hisagi Shuhei. Please take good care of me" Hisagi said in a too serious manner. 

Leaving him to the two couch dwellers, Kensei headed to the kitchen. He heard Lisa asking if Shuhei wanted one of her magazines, and his bewildered vice captain saying no. Kensei silently prayed for Shuhei's sanity to stay intact. 

The kitchen looked the same, albeit a little dirtier than before. Hachi was cutting carrots in triangle shape, very focused on the task. The counter was full of different ingredients, it was easy enough to guess what food it was. It made quite the picture, seeing his big friend cut the tiny food with his enormous hands and smart kitchen knife. 

"You're making curry?", Kensei asked, pretty sure of his conjecture. 

"Yes, I'm still getting the hang of cooking so I went for a tasty and basic recipe", Hachi gestured at the cooking recipe, hanging in the fridge with a magnet.

"You'll see that the more you do it, the less difficult it'll become. You gotta do it every day and with those three it probably is better to do that. Instead of helping, they're in their own little worlds", Kensei made a click with his tongue. 

"It's already not as challenging as the start, so I believe that. The first month by ourselves, we only ordered takeout, until they got sick of it. I was chosen as the next in charge of the meals by process of elimination", Hachi wiped sweat off his brow with a little towel. 

That checked out, Kensei couldn't imagine those three actually giving this a go. He wanted to say it served them right for not learning sooner, but there was a tiny part of him that felt bad for it. As if he had abandoned them, even though they were a few days of paperwork away. It was a stupid notion, but it bothered him nonetheless. 

"Don't be so indulgent with them. Do they help you wash the dishes?"

"Yes, like always. You know how they are."

"Doesn't mean I like their laxed ways", Kensei scoffed. "Do you want help with that?"

"Please, if you'd be so kind", his bigger friend said in a grateful tone. 

The next hour consisted of cutting vegetables, heating rice, peeling apples and occasional glances into the living room area. The spices filling the air along with the background chatter were as homely as it could get. 

Finishing up the curry, Kensei closed the pot's lid off to keep it warm. Inadvertently, he had taken over most of the cooking by himself. 

"All done, Hachi. I'm gonna leave now", Kensei said pointing outside the window. 

"You're not going to stay and eat with us? We'd be glad to have you join, they miss you all, even if their actions suggest otherwise", Hachi said in a gentle tone. 

"Thanks for the invitation, but not today. I figured, it's also kinda weird not having them making a racket nearby there. I can come by with everyone else next time, we just have to agree on the day", Kensei said, looking away. 

"I see, that's an even better idea. Feel free to come here anytime you want", Hachi smiled at him. 

"I will, good luck being the only rational person in this house", Kensei said sympathetically. 

"I'll try. You can concentrate on being happier, Kensei-san", Hachi said with a kind look in his eyes. 

Resisting the impulse to glimpse at a particular tattooed face, Kensei simply nodded. 

Going into the living room, he noticed Shuhei had been sandwiched between Lisa and Love. He was in a deep conversation about a Jump issue that Love had most likely lent him. Shuhei's eyebrows moved up and down as he kept reading, the TV's light hit his face, different colored shapes traveled over it. 

"We're leaving, Shuhei. I got more stuff to do", Kensei said, heading for the door. 

"Don't be a tight-ass, Kensei. Maybe he wants to stay longer", Lisa said idly. 

"Do you?", Kensei asked, looking at Shuhei. 

"W-well the reason I came here was to transport you to places", Shuhei said, a little hesitance was in his voice. 

"That wasn't the question", Kensei crossed his arms.

"Yes, please. I want to keep talking with Aikawa-san", Hisagi caved in. 

"Alright, the store is merely a few blocks away. I'll return in about half an hour", Kensei replied quickly. 

"Understood, I'll be here", Shuhei dove back into the manga magazine. 

The surprised eyes pressuring him from the left of the couch, made him look that way.

"What's with that look, Lisa?", Kensei said, annoyed. 

"I didn't expect you to comply so easily, guess you must be losing your touch", Lisa responded mockingly. 

"I haven't lost shit, it's called being a good leader", Kensei could almost feel an anger mark in his forehead. 

"That's what we'll say", Lisa said, going back to reading her magazine. 

"Kensei, your shopping trip", Love interrupted their verbal sparring.

Before leaving, Kensei couldn't help but think how Shuhei fit well with them. Something warm in his chest lit up, like a cold woodfire being brought back to life. 

Exactly thirty minutes passed, Kensei was back like he said, the two bags in his hands contained the ingredients he needed. The sight that greeted him when coming back was everyone at their respective places with plates on their laps. Some had leftover food, and Hiyori's was all clear, probably waiting for seconds. They were all watching anime now, it had a clown and a little kid in green fighting, the remote control now on Love's hands. Shuhei had probably been convinced to eat with them, being as well mannered as he was. 

"Captain, you're here!", Shuhei perked up, noticing him standing next to the couch. 

"Yeah, you ready to go?", Kensei moved his head towards the door. 

"Yes, I'll just leave my plate at the kitchen", Shuhei got up and turned to Love. "Are you sure I can borrow this manga?"

"Sure, it's one of the new ones and I prefer old school. Make sure to give it back, that's why I rarely did this with Rose. You understand what's so awesome about it too", Love said casually, moving his hand slightly up and down.

"Thank you everyone for being so welcoming", Shuhei said respectfully. 

"I almost forgot, did you kick Shinji for me?" Hiyori asked. 

"Uh no, I didn't think I could", Shuhei said, looking almost apologetic. 

"How useless, I'll kick ya instead if ya haven't done it next time ya come", Hiyori barked her threat.

Shuhei made a puzzled look, giving Kensei a chance to intervene. 

"He's not your errand boy, Hiyori. If you wanna be violent, go to soul society and do it yourself", Kensei tiredly reminded her. 

"What's that, Kensei? Who the hell would go to all that trouble to see that baldy Shinji?", Hiyori sulked. 

No point in arguing with her when she got like this. Shuhei hurried to the kitchen and came back a minute later empty handed.

"Bye guys. It was nice to see you're all still as hard to deal with as I remember", Kensei said with no bite to his voice. 

"See ya, Shuhei and Kensei!", Lisa and Love said in unison.

Hiyori waved them goodbye dismissively.

Outside, Kensei went to the bike, but Shuhei's voice made him pause. 

"Can I help you with those bags?"

Kensei opened his mouth to reject the offer, and closed it before saying anything. It was something so small, but he wasn't used to being helped. It was usually the other way around, the notion of someone wanting to share his burdens felt almost ridiculous. Not counting the vizards, of course. They always had his back, and this felt different in a way.

However, somewhere along the line he had started becoming a little reliant on Shuhei. The most baffling thing was that he didn't mind. 

"Yeah, have this one", Kensei passed him the one in his left hand. "Did you have a good time here?"

"Not all of them are easy to get along with, but it was really fun", Shuhei smiled briefly. 

"I'm glad", Kensei's features softened slightly. 

On the ride back, Kensei held Shuhei by grabbing his shirt in the abdomen area. Kensei's chest hovering closer to the man in front of him, gripping the fabric tightly. 

"C-captain?", Shuhei said in a flustered tone. 

"I really don't wanna fall", Kensei merely replied, almost subconsciously.

\---

It was a week before Shuhei's birthday. The time to ask was now, before he made plans for the whole day with someone else. 

"Shuhei, do you have anything planned for next Saturday?", Kensei asked, with a steady tone. 

"Not yet, why?", Shuhei responded in turn, anticipation in his voice. 

"Leave the evening free, let's have dinner together that day", Kensei said, trying to pay attention to the work before him. 

The sound of a pen falling in the wooden table was heard, followed by Shuhei cursing under his breath. It seemed like the ink had splattered across most of the page, at least it had been mostly blank previously. 

"Of course, where and what time?", Shuhei said with excitement. 

"At my living quarters, let's see, five works for me", Kensei said, lightness infiltrating his tone. 

"That's fine by me, I'll be looking forward to it", Shuhei said, his voice back to work mode. 

And so, that was how seven days later, Kensei had all the ingredients for a cake displayed out in his kitchen's counter. It had been decades since he had done something like this. After fifty years of living in Karakura town, all the vizards had agreed to not celebrate birthdays. It was an endless celebration and stopped feeling special.

This was unlike any other time, it was almost a full year of knowing Shuhei so he felt it was justified. A reward for his hard work and undying loyalty. No, that wasn't true. Kensei was doing this because he wanted to, not because of some weird sense of duty. 

Anyway, his baking skills had gotten fairly rusty. He had received the recipe from Rangiku, with only asking when Shuhei's birthday was. It had been quite helpful, Kensei wondered if she knew something he didn't. Considering everyone was aware Shuhei used to crush on her. Not that he cared about stupid things like that. 

He checked that the oven had preheated. In a medium bowl, he creamed together the sugar and butter. Kenseu beat in the eggs, one at a time, then stirred in the vanilla. Combined flour and baking powder, added to the creamy mixture and mixed well. Kensei Included some salt for more defined taste. Finally stirred in the milk until the batter is smooth. And Poured batter into the prepared pan. 

It needed to be left there for forty minutes. Kensei took off his purple apron that said 'I woke up like this', gifted by Shinji. He decided to take a shower, so the cold water could try to help him clear his thoughts. This dinner was a celebration of his subordinate and daresay friend, who happened to be hot. Nothing more. 

Out of the shower, Kensei took ten minutes to choose what to wear, which was nine minutes longer than usual. At the end, he went for a plain white yukata, it was pointless to care about his appearance now. 

Using a hair comb to style his hair to its now accustomed mussed up way, he heard the timer for the oven go off. Kensei took the baked cake out, he decorated it with white frosting and a big candle with 'Happy birthday' in English words. Satisfied with his creation, he finished up his hair. Five minutes later, a knock on the door notified him of the honored guest's arrival. 

As he opened the door, Shuhei in a blue yukata stood in front of him. It accentuated his waist in all the right ways, butterfly patterns were embroidered in the sleeves. Looking upwards, this outfit let Shuhei's collar very open, exposing more of his chest. His demeanor was amiable, and his eyes were full of wonder. 

That look was too much for Kensei sometimes, he had to look away. Shuhei's brightness wasn't always overwhelming but it was present enough to be aware of it. Like a bird scared to burn if it flies too close to the sun, Kensei's resolve to do more wavered. 

"Hey, come in", Kensei invited him in. 

"Woah this place is so nice. Thank you for inviting me here."

"No problem."

"I didn't know if I should bring something so I got a wine bottle", Shuhei brought it into view with a hand he had kept behind his back. 

"You do know what day it is, right? I'd feel weird receiving anything", Kensei said dryly. 

"Totally, I'm not that forgetful", Hisagi showed a way too big smile. 

Staring at him, Kensei didn't believe him one bit.

"I remembered today in the morning when Rangiku-san and Kira congratulated me. I had already bought the wine so I brought it as it would be wasted otherwise", Shuhei admitted in defeat. 

"I figured, give it here then", Kensei opened up his hand and placed it between them. 

As the bottle changed hands, their fingers brushed up against each other. Warmth permeated that part of Kensei's body, spreading like a wildfire. He didn't notice when Shuhei took his hand away but he was now holding his own chin with it. A particular neutral expression, different from what Kensei had come to expect. There was some slight discontentment at the back of his mind, that had been a boring reaction. 

Motioning for Shuhei to sit, Kensei fetched a lighter from the kitchen counter. He placed two plates on the opposing sides of the table. Lighting the candle, he moved the cake to Shuhei's side. 

"Happy birthday. Make a wish", Kensei pointed to the candle with his head. 

"Okay, let me think", Shuhei looked contemplative for a moment, then certainty was clear in his face. "I know."

The fire in the candle was extinguished after one air blow. He hoped Shuhei's wish would come true, regardless of what it was. 

"I doubt you'll tell me if I ask, so let's just eat", Kensei said.

"True, but it's usually a custom to do so", Shuhei wondered aloud. 

"No point if I'm not going to get an answer", Kensei feigned disinterest.

"That's what I think too, I was commenting on what most people do. If the person who made the wish wants to share, they'll do it with no prompting. Oh yeah, what are we gonna drink along with the cake?"

"I guess the wine might as well use it today, already being a special occasion. I only made the cake, so it's not technically a dinner but pure dessert."

Kensei used a knife to cut two slices of cake and served them in both plates. Next, he took out two glasses and poured some wine into them. Gave one to himself and one to Shuhei. 

"I've never drank wine with cake but there's always a first time", Shuhei continued after seeing Kensei's raised eyebrow. "Don't worry, I already got something in my stomach from the midday outing. It's been quite a few years since I ate cake for my birthday"

"That's good, better to be prepared than to leave with hunger. When was the last time you ate cake?", Kensei said, before taking the first bite of the cake. 

"It's kind of funny. When I joined the ninth division, the vice captain back then had her birthday the same week as me. So, a month after joining, we had a joint birthday party. Everyone contributed to make a really big birthday cake, that way it was more efficient", Shuhei said it, his smile didn't reach full fondness.

It sounded more sad than funny, Kensei decided to keep that to himself. There was no real need to point it out and make it awkward. 

"Enjoy this one to your heart's content, don't need to share it with someone else's day. I can make one again next year if you want", Kensei said, as he drank from his wine glass. 

"Really? I would love to", Shuhei said, overjoyed.

The topic of conversation changed multiple times after that, becoming more enjoyable the more he listened to Shuhei's voice. It was like getting a good night's sleep after a week of bad insomnia. While Kensei saw Shuhei often, the two of them didn't have enough moments like this. Just them talking about nothing and everything at the same time. 

Going by that line of thinking, he barely spent free time with Shinji and Rose lately. As long as they weren't being little shits, he didn't mind hanging out with them. It was natural to not spend as much time with his friends like before. They didn't live together anymore. Still, almost anytime he could, the first person he found himself looking for was Shuhei.

Had the man in front of him become just as important in such a short period of time? Kensei wasn't sure, if only he could be certain sooner. What would he do once that happened? Maybe it wasn't about knowing, but about coming to terms with it. 

"What's wrong?", Shuhei asked in concern.

"Nothing, really. It's your day, don't worry about me", Kensei responded dismissively.

"You can tell me. I'm not so self absorbed that I'd let someone close to me pretend they're fine when they're not. You've helped me immensely with my own issues, it's the least I can do", Shuhei said wholeheartedly. 

"I was merely thinking that I'm being a shitty friend to Shinji and the others. Choosing to spend less time with them, I know they got their own duties, but they still invite me sometimes", Kensei went out with a half truth. 

"Not being all the time with them doesn't make you a bad friend. Months or even years can pass without talking to a friend and still be as close as ever. If your bond is strong enough then it'll survive something of this magnitude", Shuhei said, conviction obvious in his features. 

Kensei's eyes widened by a fraction, not expecting such a mature and passionate answer. 

"Slow down, to survive sounds way too dramatic. It's more of a minor inconvenience, probably better to not blow it out of proportion. Shinji would've said something if it was more, he's always saying what he wants", Kensei said. 

"I guess I just went to the extreme, wanting the advice to be as useful as possible. If you know it's not something that will lead to big distancing between you, that's good. Like you said, the bond that the eight of you share is one of the most united I've ever seen", Shuhei made a circle in the air with his fork.

"Those headaches of friends can drive me insane sometimes. That said, I don't really want them to go far away from me for too long. Don't ever tell them I said that", Kensei scratched his own neck. "Look at you though, when did you become so cool?"

"I didn't, I know how it is to overthink something and worry over it. I wanted to ease your mind a little", Shuhei said modestly. 

"You succeeded. This happened to you often? Don't know what I'd do if that was the case for me", Kensei said, honestly. 

"Recently yes, I do it by having good people that support me", Shuhei smiled. 

"That would be it", Kensei said, failing to not be hypnotized by the beautiful smile. 

Kensei was soaking in the past conversation, only the sound of forks against plates were audible. Even that was more comfortable than being by himself nowadays.

"Oh yeah, did you like the cake?", Kensei broke the silence. 

"Absolutely, vanilla is my favorite flavor. Did you know that?", Shuhei finished his third cake slice. 

"No, I had a hunch", Kensei omitted the small detail of where he got it from.

"Makes me remember the time when Rangiku-san made me cupcakes for my birthday a few years back", Shuhei said, cutting his slice into smaller parts. 

"Hmm cakes are usually better with how much work is put into them" Kensei said in a more curt tone than intended.

"I believe that cakes are meant to fill your stomach more, and you won't eat a lot if you don't really like the taste. After all, from a sentimental perspective, the most important ingredient is the care the chef pours on it", Shuhei continued calmly, despite Kensei's sudden coughing fit. "That aside, did you perhaps get me a gift?"

The wine helped subside Kensei's cough, hoping his reaction didn't reveal anything. He had thought of getting a gift though nothing seemed right. First idea had been knitting fingerless gloves, but it was still summer. Then a kasa hat to protect from the heat but he didn't know how to make one. Last one had been gas for the bike but something purely practical felt devoid of emotion. So, he had decided to just hope Shuhei would be fine with that, it seemed like he had been wrong. 

"You could say the cake was a sort of gift. Really, I didn't peg you as the materialistic type", Kensei asked in a mix of surprise and inquisitiveness. 

"I don't want a physical object, you could give it to me right now, if you try", Shuhei's face didn't give anything away. 

"What?", Kensei said in confusion.

"A big smile from you", Shuhei pointed to his own lips going upwards. 

What raised upwards next were Kensei's eyebrows, not knowing what to say. Did he smile so little that doing it merited this kind of request? He just couldn't do it in command, something had to cause it. Regardless, something this innocuous was his wanted gift, so Kensei would try. 

Opening his mouth as big and wide as he could, Kensei wouldn't help furrowing his brows. That was when he heard a giggle which then turned into a full laugh. The almost musical sound came from Shuhei, who was covering his abdomen, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. Kensei had never seen him so loose and joyful. Just as Shuhei reigned in his laughter, Kensei was sure he would be willing to make a fool of himself to see that again. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sure that was your best attempt. I did want to see something bigger than a smirk", Shuhei dried one eye's tears. 

A long time ago, Kensei could swear a similar scene between them had happened. He suspected it had turned out the opposite of this one. 

"How comfortable you've gotten joking around with me, not bad. So there you have it, your gift."

"Might be the wine doing some of the work. And no, I'm still owed a genuine smile." 

"You little, I don't guarantee anything of that sort."

From then on, Kensei couldn't deny what was impossible to see. He didn't simply like Shuhei's looks, it was more than that.  
It was a kind of affection that Kensei hadn't felt towards someone in so long, he couldn't even remember. The type that he wanted the best happiness for Shuhei, even if it was with someone else. 

They would work things out, eventually. Kensei wouldn't move a finger close if Shuhei didn't want him to. Simply being by his side was enough at the moment. 

\---

Alone in his office for the first time in a long while, Kensei had risen up earlier than usual. He went to make some green tea to start the day, its relaxing smell and taste went down easy in his empty stomach. 

If it had been a few months before, he would have been over the moon to get some time to himself. Instead, the office felt too empty without Mashiro's squeaky voice and Shuhei's serious handling of the paperwork. Only two hours would go without those two giving him company, yet Kensei almost considered going to Shinji's for his vynil player thing. 

The reason he had gone to work this early was because he hadn't been able to finish up the last report yesterday. It was the time of year when the shin'o academy produced new graduates. He was looking at new potential ninth division members to choose which ones would fit best. 

Or it was what he was trying to do. Various memories with Shuhei kept him from concentrating, attacking him from all fronts. Like a picture album, they all appeared in his mind one by one. A shy Shuhei from their first meeting as captain and vice captain, an eager Shuhei to work beside him, a drunk Shuhei talking about their actual first meeting, and a laughing Shuhei. All of those were dear to Kensei. 

His lack of action was on the verge of overwhelming him. He wasn't the type of wimp who got scared of jumping from the edge of a cliff to new land. Yet here he was, waiting for the other person to give him the go sign. Most of all, Kensei didn't want to get hurt. 

Letting out a frustrated scream, Kensei rubbed his hair frantically. 

"Is this a good time or did I interrupt some weird morning routine I didn't know about?", a voice said, equal parts sarcastic and puzzled.

It was none other than Shinji, who had slightly opened the door and witnessed Kensei's wordless outburst. 

"What do you want? Are you here for work or to make fun of me?", Kensei said, ignoring Shinji's joking approach. 

"You underestimate me if you think I didn't come here to do both", Shinji gave him a crooked smile

"I don't know why I even asked", Kensei said, giving up. 

"It's more like future work then current work, as in I'm not sure if the head captain will go with it", Shinji said, crossing his arms.

"Go on."

"I've heard that Urahara is gonna come to the seireitei in the next few months with a special sword. Somehow it'll be able to absorb captain level shinigami's reiatsu into it."

"What would he need that for?"

"That's the kicker, it's going to be used to stab Ichigo with it thus restoring his shinigami powers. Poor kid, can't imagine how helpless he must feel not even having the tools to save his friends", Shinji looked solemn. 

"He did make the decision himself to cast away his powers to defeat Aizen, but I wouldn't be able to rest easy if I didn't do the minimum to help. Especially with how much he saved everyone at the end of the battle. He is an honorary vizard too", Kensei said, matter of factly. 

"I was thinking the same."

"It's not set in stone, right? So we'll have to wait and see."

Trying to refocus on the papers lying on his desk, Kensei noticed Shinji wasn't turning to leave. 

"So what was that you were doing when I came in?", Shinji prodded. 

Unfortunately, his friend hadn't forgotten that. It would've been too easy. 

"What makes you think I'm going to tell you?", Kensei asked in a snippy way.

"Shuhei asked me for an interview to appear in the seireitei bulletin. Some questions about the battle with Aizen and the past", Shinji said, apparently changing the subject. 

"You actually have time for that? He told me he was trying to do that, but you're rarely in your office for appointments", Kensei said in his business-like voice. 

"So that's it", Shinji almost got a lightbulb moment. "You could've told me earlier and I would've helped."

"What are you talking about?", Kensei said, an anxious feeling rising in his stomach. 

"The reason you were freaking out was because of Shuhei. You finally figured out you're super into h-", Shinji's realization was cut off. 

"What on earth makes you say that? I didn't actually act any different just now", Kensei said perplexed. 

"It's hard to describe but your whole mood lightens up whenever he comes into view or conversation. This time it was like you didn't wanna talk about him. By the way, when I say light up its more like grumpy old pug letting you pet him", Shinji colorfully illustrated.

Not letting the comparison get to him, Kensei thought that over. Was his demeanor change that drastic? Shinji was one of the last people he would want to talk this with. Just when he thought he was doing a good job of hiding it.

"This is why I dont talk...", Kensei placed a hand in his own forehead. 

"Okay, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I'll just tell you he totally looks at you with heart eyes every time you enter his field of vision. I don't know why you haven't taken the hint", Shinji shrugged.

It wasn't like Kensei hadn't been aware of how Shuhei treated him differently than others. He had kept telling himself that it was just a platonic admirer's quirks. It had become harder to believe when their relationship turned more friendly and natural.

"You've noticed too?", Kensei pointed to Shinji's eyes.

"I would be blind if I hadn't, don't worry you do it too. Though with you, it's only your pupils that become hearts. If you know, then why haven't you given it a try?", Shinji asked, as if he couldn't guess it. 

"Sometimes I feel like the image of me in his head is way too perfect. Somewhere along the way, I'll disappoint him and it'll be the most painful shit", Kensei poured out his worries. 

"That's unlike you, Kensei. You're giving Shuhei too little credit, he wouldn't do that. He looks up to you now because of who you've demonstrated yourself to be. I guess that's just how much you don't wanna mess up", Shinji said, thoughtfully.

"I know he's not like that, I just don't see what he sees in me. That's why I'm waiting for him to let me know on his own terms", Kensei said, in an attempt to make Shinji understand him.

"You're playing it safe for once, I don't blame you. Just don't let too much time pass before it's too late ", Shinji headed towards the door. "Well let me know how that turns out, gonna head to my office to see if Momo is waiting for me"

This advice was things Kensei already had thrown at the back of his mind. Shinji was being blunt about it because he was sure Kensei needed to hear it from someone else. Shinji only pretended to be a flirt, the truth was that he could be really insightful. 

Wait, wasn't he in a similar situation?

"What about you and Momo? Is there something there?", Kensei asked, having caught telling glances between her and Shinji before. 

"Let's say I'm also testing the waters. Oh, me and Rose are going drinking next week. You wanna go or are you still crushed with work?", Shinji mimicked picking up a glass.

There was a moment of hesitation, Kensei's lips stayed still. Then, he felt some relief like cold water waking him from a nonsensical dream. 

"By then, I can get work done if there isn't a sudden surprise assignment. I was told by Hachi to drag you, Rose and Mashiro back home next time we all have a full free day", Kensei said, suppressing a smile.

"Nice, he wouldn't say it like that but I'll tell Rose. We'll plan on a good day", Shinji did some finger guns. 

As Shinji was opening the door, Mashiro and Shuhei came in. She was rubbing her eyes, probably from waking up before her usual time. Shuhei also looked a little sleepy however it was overtaken by a readiness to work. 

"See ya later, Kensei. Good luck with that", Shinji cheerfully waved to everyone. "Good morning, Mashiro and Shuhei."

"Yeah", Kensei curtly said.

"Thanks, Shinji", Mashiro said followed by a big yawn. "Hello, Kensei."

"Thank you for your hard work, captain Hirako", Shuhei responded respectfully. "I look forward to another productive day, captain Muguruma!"

Both of the new arrivals greeted back with opposing energy. It was almost comical how Mashiro was so much more behaved when sleep deprived. Kensei wouldn't complain. 

It was kind of cute how upbeat Shuhei was instead, not doing the best job at pretending. He was too generous, coming to help a work flooded Kensei with the green haired extra hands. 

The day started in the most productive way possible with unexpected assistance. Kensei drank the last bit of his green tea, continuing his work now with his new found concentration. 

\---

Wandering around inside the forest in the thirtieth district of the rukongai, Kensei and Mashiro tried to get out of it. They had tried doing that for over twenty minutes, but they kept walking in circles. All the trees looked the same. If it hadn't been for Mashiro saying she had seen the hollow they had been sent to look for, they wouldn't be lost. 

There had been reports about a sighting of an adjuchas level hollow snuck into soul society. It had landed in the ninth division's lap and Mashiro would most likely would've been strong enough on her own. Regardless, Kensei felt the need to watch over her, there was nothing wrong with being cautious. 

It was almost a miracle Mashiro was being quiet, probably trying to prove she was right about seeing the hollow. He stopped, noticing something about a particular tree. 

"Didn't we pass through here before?", Kensei asked. 

"And didn't you say that you couldn't differentiate the trees? How would you know?", Mashiro refuted. 

"Yes, that's why I marked some of them with my zanpakuto", Kensei pointed at the slash on the trunk tree with Tachikaze. 

"I don't care what you say, the hollow is here. We just have to keep going and it'll eventually appear", Mashiro stayed stubborn. 

"Even if it's here, we won't be able to fight it properly. All the trees will get in the way", Kensei said, annoyance creeping up his tone. 

"I can, you can leave if you're so unsure of your fighting skills. Shu-tan will like having you back sooner", Mashiro puffed her cheeks out in frustration. 

"I wasn't saying it because of me, you're the one who's always moving the most when fighting. He can manage just fine without me, you're the one who always needs help getting shit done", Kensei said with a tone of finality. 

To be fair, Shuhei had actually commented about feeling bad for being too busy to go along for this mission. Kensei had assured him it was fine, as he was the one accompanying her. A detail she had left out beforehand. Shuhei had seen them off at the outskirts of the seireitei. Kensei didn't want both of them in a place that could get them potentially injured if it could be helped. 

"It doesn't matter if we're lost, it'll appear soon. You're just a dummy with little faith that can't keep up with-", Mashiro's mouth got covered by Kensei's hand. 

"Shh, I hear something", Kensei said quietly. 

A drilling sound seemed to get closer to them from underground, something beneath their feet making it shake.

"Jump", Kensei hurriedly warned Mashiro. 

"I got it", Mashiro said, doing as told.

Barely in time, both jumped out of harm's way. The hollow emerged from the ground, it was only double the height of Kensei. Its hands were drills, most of its skin was orange and white. Its head looked like a horse's skull. 

"I told you it was here! I was right, and you were wrong", Mashiro loudly proclaimed.

"So, that was why we had such a hard time finding it. It was concealing its reiatsu on top of being underground, it was probably motionless until it sensed us. It made a mistake on coming out at all, though", Kensei finished his comment with a confident smirk. 

"Are you done talking, shinigami?", the hollow bellowed. 

"I am, thanks for showing yourself and making this easier", Kensei responded. "Blow it away, Tachikaze."

Activating his shikai, Kensei sent multiple wind blades towards the hollow. It dodged them with little trouble. Mashiro tried punching it in the head, resulting in the hollow blocking it. It seemed, this would require more effort than planned. She must've thought the same as Mashiro's left hand hovered in front of her face, like she was going to rip something off it. Instead, a small amount of reiatsu formed in the shape of an ant looking mask. 

She lunged herself upwards and came down to kick down the hollow. It tried to block again but it was futile, her kick connected with its chest. It sent the hollow falling to the ground. 

"Victory", Mashiro proclaimed.

"Did you forget that we shouldn't use our masks? It'll bring you trouble because I'm going to have to write it down in my report", Kensei said as he readied multiple attacks. "Also we haven't won yet."

"Dumb Kensei, that only applies to when we're inside the seireitei. You must feel bad with how wrong you've been today", Mashiro mocked him openly, while dodging the hollow's attacks. "And it's a given we'll win eventually."

It was hard to admit that she was right, he had misremembered. There was no point arguing with her over the top optimistic attitude, yet he did every time. Kensei disliked using his mask unless he was facing an opponent that required it. It was a lot more comfortable to use his zanpakuto like most of the time. 

"Shut up Mashiro, don't act all high mighty only to have your airhead self out of commission fast."

"I won't, and on the off chance I do, I know you'll save me."

"You won't be able to kill me, stop acting as if I'm some pebble to be stepped on. The great Mintei Di Purtzumperc is your opponent", the hollow announced. 

Mintei started spinning in circles at an incredibly fast speed, its drill hands making it near impossible to attack. Kensei backed off a few steps and waited for the moment Mintei would get tired. Now that most of the trees around them were down, the battlefield allowed for more open space.  
It took a full minute to happen, he used that opening to cut Mintei's left arm with Tachikaze's wind. 

Bleeding profusely from it, Mintei looked back in anger. That was the moment to strike back. 

"Now, Mashiro!", Kensei commanded in a raised voice. 

"Mashiro dropkick!", Mashiro went to kick an arm again. 

Mintei dodged it by a hair's breadth, making Mashiro kick the ground and turning the ground there into a little crater. Kensei took that opportunity to flash step right in front of Mintei. He charged Tachikaze with reiryoku until it took the shape of a glowing orb, which he fired as an energy blast with extreme force. It blew up the whole shoulder area, the right arm hanging on to the rest of the body by a thread of skin. 

"Do you think that's enough to kill me? I have a reason to be here", Mintei said. 

Immediately, Mintei kicked Kensei in the stomach, drops of blood started to come out from the latter's mouth. Still standing up, Kensei had his most serious face through the fight. 

"I don't, that's where she comes in", Kensei said looking Mintei to the face. 

"Damn", Mintei tried to react. 

"Mashiro Super Kick", Mashiro managed to kick him from the back of the head. 

It was extremely effective, Mashiro's final attack had been the decisive one. 

A part of Mintei's mask came off, revealing a human looking face underneath. Blue short hair, small eyes and dark skin. An arrancar? No wonder it had been tougher than a regular adjuchas. 

Kensei slashed the hollow's hole multiple times, making sure the enemy wouldn't get up again. Not giving Mintei any opportunity to use its resurrection, the battle was over. 

"I failed, at least it's better than being killed by that bastard everyone has begun calling his majesty", Mintei said before vanishing out of existence. 

The meaning of those words was lost on Kensei, who nevertheless felt a cold chill run down his spine. 

There was no way of finding more about this unless they went to hueco mundo to investigate. He doubted old man Yamamoto would allow it over something this small. Hueco mundo getting a new king was only natural, therefore not shocking someone there wouldn't like it.  
In any case, their mission was done. 

"I heard that, Kensei. You complimented me and trusted in my abilities for once", Mashiro looked exceptionally happy, her mask was off now. 

"Your ears must need some waxing, because I did nothing of the sort", Kensei said, not pleased with what he was hearing. 

"You did, no need to deny it. I'll accept any positivity from you", Mashiro continued with a smug smile. 

"And I'm telling you that didn't happen. Now stop pestering me", Kensei felt his annoyance rising back up. 

"Admit it, I won't go back until you do", she locked onto him from his lower leg. 

"Then do that, I'll go back on my own", he tried shaking her off his leg. 

"Kenseiiii", Mashiro whined. 

"Fine, your fighting can be relied upon more when you're not overestimating your own limits. Satisfied?", Kensei felt like he had been beaten with every word he said.

"Very. See? That wasn't so hard. You're just too emotionally constipated", Mashiro smiled again.

An exasperated groan came from Kensei, not sure where she learned those kinds of words. Her head was going to get bigger after admitting that, no doubt. He would deal with that later. Currently, Kensei would give her the luxury to savor this moment.


	5. Chapter 5

On his way to the fifth division's office, Hisagi bumped into Hinamori. He was headed there for the interview with her captain, there had finally been a spot in schedule for it. Hisagi would've cut off captain Hirako's part if it hadn't happened soon. 

This way, Hisagi had more time to chat leisurely with her. They didn't talk as much as he'd like, she was an outstanding comrade and friend. It must've been hard moving forward while everyone treated her at arm's length, afraid she might break. He had been guilty of that at first, but she had proven everyone wrong with time. No matter how many times she fell, she always got up. 

"This year's kite flying contest was so fun.  
Rangiku-san and Hitsugaya-kun had a hyorinmaru one, they bickered as always over who could fly it. Kira-kun had a separate one from his captain, it was the third division's emblem. Abarai-kun got a chappy one and gave it to Kuchiki-san who hadn't had time to make one", Hinamori went on, fondly remembering it. 

"That does sound like it would have been quite the lively place to be. Did it stay all peaceful this time? Or did someone make it all chaotic?", Hisagi wondered aloud. 

"Ah well, for the most part it was. I had the most joy that day for a long while. It was the eleventh division getting too competitive with the seventh division that brought things to an interesting halt. Poor vice captain Kotetsu got caught in the crossfire, which is inadvertently what made captain Unohana involved. Making everyone go back to their best behavior for the last part", Hinamori said happily. 

"I figured. I bet it was Madarame who started that whole thing with Iba", Hisagi said, sure of it. 

"Yes, how did you know?", Hinamori asked, surprised.

"Kira told me, and those two are usually the ones to start pointless conflict", Hisagi casually stated. 

"That's cheating! Anyway, you should've come, Hisagi-san", Hinamori cheerily suggested.

"Now that I think about it, this is the second time I"ve missed it. I'll make sure to attend next time", Hisagi said, contemplating it. 

They arrived at captain Hirako's office, Hisagi stood right next to the sofa in the center of the room. The office had been repainted to a baby blue color, and the vinyl record player was on the desk. Hisagi remembered it from the last time he had been there, some jazz music had been played. Hinamori went to the main desk and took a tea kettle with some cups. 

"Do you want some tea? We only have oolong tea though. Have a seat, no need to be overly polite", Hinamori gestured with her hand to the sofa. 

"You don't have to, I don't want to be the reason you and captain Hirako end with no tea today", Hisagi sat down on the sofa. 

"Don't be silly, it's no bother. The captain doesn't really drink tea, it's mostly for me and visitors. If we finish all of it, I'll just buy more", Hinamori said lightly. 

"Then please, I'll have some", Hisagi conceded. 

A dark blue cup was placed on the table in front of the sofa. Hinamori sat down in the chair across the opposite side of the table, holding a similar cup in her hands. 

"I'm sorry for my captain, he's usually late to things he agreed to do unless they're of utmost importance", Hinamori apologized.

"It's totally fine, I knew that and still decided to make the appointment. So tell me, are you still getting along the same way with your captain?", Hisagi said, taking a sip of his tea.

"I'd say our connection has only gotten better this past year. At first, I didn't know what to make of him. I wasn't sure how to differentiate between his serious and joking mode. Now I'm so used to his personality, I know what he's trying to say without him having to spell it out", Hinamori said, looking proud of herself. 

"I'm glad. All of us who got new captains were a bit unsure about how to proceed after everything that happened. Only Kira was genuinely unsatisfied with his captain, though it was mostly shallow stuff", Hisagi said in a relaxed tone. 

"I'm really grateful to him, he's a big reason why I can smile more often nowadays", Hinamori said, her eyes agreeing with those words. 

"I understand", Hisagi drank more of his tea, before placing it on the table. 

He really did, he also felt that towards his own captain. It was a relief to see she was genuinely having a good time. Hinamori deserved to be happy after all the unfair turmoil she had been put through.

"Did you two have a kite in the contest?", he continued. 

"We did", Hinamori said quickly.

"What did you guys make? I don't know captain Hirako that much, but I'd guess fashion related or music", Hisagi said.

"Ah it was neither of those", Hinamori elaborated to a confused Hisagi. "It resembled the blue cloth I use in my hair bun."

"Oh, did you say anything to him about it?", Hisagi said, imagining the reason. 

"Yes, that it didn't have a good form to fly and was bland compared to all the others. And he said 'Momo, you don't get it. It's because it looks like that, it stands out'. To be truthful, it was a little embarrassing", Hinamori brought her hands up to her cheeks. 

"Ah, well that does seem like him. He probably was being genuinely nice, and didn't mean anything bad", Hisagi tried to ease her bashfulness. 

"I know, with him what you see is what you get and I'm totally okay with that. Better someone who teases, is sarcastic and can even get irked sometimes. Better than someone who pretends to always be nice…", she trailed off, staring into space. 

"Yes, I agree. Captain Muguruma is also hot headed, impatient and brusque. But those flaws are what make him a person worth following and not an unattainable ideal", Hisagi said, able to believe his own words. 

While it had started as Hisagi seeing his captain on a pedestal, slowly he had come down from that. Those flaws were there, they simply didn't bother Hisagi. And if they ever did, he would tell Muguruma-san straight away.

"That's true. We're similar like that", Hinamori said, a smile in place. 

They kept talking for a few minutes about the latest news. Kuchiki Rukia had just become the thirteenth division's new lieutenant, so everyone had congratulated her last week. Kira escaped his captain's office the instant the latter wanted to include him in his songs. Urahara Kisuke came in yesterday to ask for the head captain's permission on the use of a strange sword. Abarai made a fool of himself in the last drinking outing, challenging Rangiku to a dance off. All kinds of important and fun stories. 

As the two of them were snickering about Abarai's complete defeat to Rangiku's drunk dancing skills, captain Hirako entered the room. Hisagi turned serious, and greeted captain Hirako. 

"It's alright, you don't gotta act all proper the moment I come in. I have an appointment with you, and I would've obviously been on time if Kyoraku hadn't forced me to hang out with him", Hirako said with a poker face. 

"Captain, it's not good to phrase it like that. You know you like having extended conversations with captain Kyoraku. It's fine, Hisagi-san. He was tardy for his own intentions, you did the appointment how you're supposed to", Hinamori assured him.

"Momo, whose side are you on? I had the perfect excuse", Hirako said, looking unconcerned with his tardiness.

"On the side of honesty, captain. I keep telling you, that's not nice", Hinamori giggled, with her eyes closed. 

Out of sheer coincidence, Hisagi averted his eyes to Hinamori's zanpakuto. Something clicked in his head, Roubai-san was Hinamori. It all made sense now. His kindred spirit had been closer than he thought. Looking around the room, things that he hadn't paid attention jumped at him. The little bookshelf in the corner of the room and the peaches at the side of the table. Those were all for Hinamori, it wasn't one sided. 

The way they looked at each other, it felt very familiar. Hisagi felt happy for them, even if they hadn't realized what they had yet. 

"Hey Shuhei, do you wanna start the interview now?", Hirako asked, his teeth showing.

"Would you mind being kicked?", Hisagi blurted out, having been distracted by his realization.

"What's that now?", Hirako said, baffled. "The good behaved impression I had of you went right out the window."

"No, that was a message from Sarugaki-san. The last time I saw her, she told me to do that", Hisagi explained, realizing what he said. 

"That damn Hiyori, using Kensei's vice captain to annoy me from the world of the living. She'll see the next time I see her, It won't be so easy to trample over me", Hirako showed signs of irritation. "Alright, let's do this."

Hinamori simply smiled nervously, most likely already used to the exchanges between her captain and Sarugaki-san. And maybe feeling out of the loop, not fully understanding the nature of their interactions. Hisagi had felt like that at the start with Kuna and his captain, it wasn't the most comfortable position. 

Sitting down in the chair behind the captain's desk, Hirako told Hisagi to do the same. They started when the vizards entered the battlefield, as Hisagi hadn't been present for that. He listened intently to the horrors that occurred that day, from captain Hirako's perspective.

\---

Strolling around the shopping district in the seireitei, Hisagi was looking for a gift. A necklace for captain Muguruma and a bracelet for Kuna. The jewelry store there usually had some good deals, not having to go to the world of the living for that. 

He had thought of asking the department of research and development for a special necklace. Similar to his own choker that exploded seconds after taking it off. Hisagi decided against it, as the request for it would take long to process. Captain Kurotsuchi would certainly take no interest in it, and would end up forgetting about it.

Therefore, he was going for a more meaningful option. That was when he saw it, the perfect necklace charm. He already couldn't wait for Muguruma-san's reaction when he'd see it. 

Now, only the bracelet for Kuna was needed. She'd make a fuss if they weren't friendship bracelets, so they had to be identical. It was kind of awkward since she had a very different sense of style. He spotted a little basket with some of what he was looking for, bracelets painted half green and half black. Perfect combination of Kuna and his taste. Hisagi motioned the vendor to all three items and paid for them, that saved up money coming in handy. 

Just as he was coming out of the store, Hisagi saw captain Komamura passing by. He took this chance to strike up a conversation with the taller and sturdy man. 

"Captain Komamura, hello. A pleasure to see you, are you having a good time shopping?", Hisagi greeted him. 

"Hisagi, I say the same to you. I am, I got a specific cleaning item that was needed for a stubborn ink spot in my office. What about you?", Komamura showed him the detergent bottle. 

"Do you like cleaning? I bought gifts for my captain and third seat, to celebrate an anniversary of them being part of the ninth division again", Hisagi made up an excuse. 

"I wouldn't necessarily say I like it. It's purely more efficient to do it myself", Komamura answered, with a hint of satisfaction in his voice. "A year, huh. Time flies by, still feels like yesterday that I met all of the vizards."

Unlike Hisagi, Komamura had actually had the honor to help one of the vizards at the time. Ever since then, captain Komamura and captain Hirako were known to hang out sometimes. They made an odd pair, one serious and contemplative while the other was playful and bothered easily. 

It was still a little disorienting, waiting to see a certain someone who wore clear goggles and a low braided ponytail. Nonetheless it was understandable, it wouldn't be fair for captain Komamura to not become friendly with new people. 

"What's wrong, Hisagi?", Komamura's ears moved to hear better. 

"I just remembered how captain Tousen would accompany you to do shopping often", Hisagi sprinkled a little of the truth. 

"Yeah, he'd lead me to all the better options for all the items I needed. Whether it was food, clothes, or decorations, he knew", Komamura seemed to smile for a bit.

"He would always have the utmost patience when I didn't understand something. I would've spend more time with him if I knew he'd be gone soon", Hisagi muttered in the second part. 

"None of us could've known before things escalated. He had already decided his path in life, long before meeting either of us", Komamura said, thoughtfully.

It wasn't something Hisagi didn't know already, but that didn't prevent him from going back to that train of thinking. 

Komamura went to sit down on some steps that led to the seventh division's area. Hisagi followed him, doing the same and placing his purchases next to him. It was a weekday, so this avenue was mostly empty. Ideal to have a talk about something that didn't bring Hisagi to a good mood. 

"I'm sorry, Hisagi. For having put such a big burden in your shoulders. I was incapable of having the resolve to kill Tousen, because of that, you had to deliver the decisive blow", Komamura said, looking straight into Hisagi's eyes.

Looking away, Hisagi took a long breath of air and exhaled it. He could do this. 

"No, I...I decided to do it. I took the decision to do it, based on the fact that the person about to kill you wasn't the captain Tousen I knew. I have never once blamed you for it, I wasn't going to let you die. As an esteemed superior and comrade of mine, but also as Tousen Kaname's friend", Hisagi looked back at Komamura now. 

Those black eyes were gentle and perceptive, Hisagi could tell them about things he had felt no need to share. It had been true that he didn't put any blame on captain Komamura. Some self blame did come and go at times, but he doubted he was the only one with it.

"And that's on me, if I had been able to recognize that, you wouldn't have been put in that position. Nevertheless, if I had the chance of doing it again, I still would've done the same thing", Komamura said with a firm voice. 

"It is more reasonable to not be able to slash a dear friend. In a sense, I certainly have been trying to protect captain Tousen's values more than the person himself", Hisagi's voice went deeper than usual. 

"There is nothing wrong with that, our interests aligned in the things we wanted to protect. One was simply stronger than the other. You don't have to regret it", Komamura tapped Hisagi's forehead lightly with his fist. 

"With all due respect, that applies to you too, captain Komamura. I wouldn't be able to go on if I wasn't in my way in accepting that", Hisagi ignored the choking feeling on his throat. "Still, it really feels like everyone has started to move on from it soon."

"We have to, if we want to stay standing. We can always look back to events that marked us heavily as people. Dwelling on them for too long is what makes us stuck on certain past endeavors", Komamura said with an empathetic tone. "I hope you're including yourself with everyone."

"I am, which was the reason that I was conflicted. Wondering if I deserve it...but I think I do."

"You do, Hisagi. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has told you this. There'll come a day when you won't doubt it."

"Thanks, Captain Komamura. Sorry for bothering you, but you're the best person to talk about this", Hisagi said, with an expression that made him look younger.

"Not at all, you're welcome to make conversation with me any time. I understand", Komamura smiled with a sort of paternal care. 

With that, captain Komamura's large figure stood up and kept marching forward. Not looking back, his figure became smaller and smaller. 

Hisagi smiled, as tears threatened to spill, he let one do so. He dried up that eye, letting his legs take him to higher heights.  
Taking a step at a time, a little faster now. 

\---

A group of new ninth division members rushed off to Hisagi, they all tried to talk at once, failing to explain what they were escaping from. They had come out of the ninth division training grounds, distress written in their faces. 

It was a trio consisting of a boy, girl and boy. If he recalled correctly, their names were Inohara, Himuro and Miura respectively. Inohara was almost as tall as Hisagi, with long brown hair and big eyes.  
Himuro had bright pink hair in ponytails, black nails and dark blue eyes. Miura had short blonde hair, his height reaching Hisagi's and glasses covering his green eyes. 

"Slowly this time, what's going on?", Hisagi inquired. 

"Vice captain, listen. Third seat Kuna has been going hard on us for some reason", Inohara said. 

"Don't forget she's told us to call her super vice captain. I couldn't tell before, but she's definitely serious about that", Miura adjusted his glasses. 

"Basically, she's too energetic for us to keep up with her. First, she took us shopping only for us to carry all her bags. Then she took us to an all you can eat buffet, only for us to pay all of it. And now she wanted us to train with her, of course, we're no match for her", Himuro said, looking exhausted. 

"I'm pretty sure she didn't do it with the intent to make your day more difficult. Kuna is like a big kid who always wants someone to play with, but isn't always aware how other people don't have the same energy", Hisagi said, in hopes to calm them down.

"Still doesn't make it any less hard to do as she says", Inohara insisted.

"We know she's one of the strongest shinigami in the division and her vizard powers attribute to that. We just prefer a different style of teaching", Miura concisely stated. 

"And socializing, she somehow makes captain Muguruma less scarier by comparison. I do respect her tenacity to get what she wants", Himuro said, looking behind her. 

"You can leave if you want, I'll cover for you this once. Just say how you truly feel next time, she won't scorn you because of it", Hisagi said, showing his slight dissappointment.

"Thank you, sir", the three young shinigami ran to the closest corner turn. 

Those three had potential to become recognized shinigami in the far future if they applied themselves. Miura the smart one, Homura the battle oriented one and Inohara the determined one. They reminded him of another trio, a redhead, another blonde and a purple haired girl. 

A block away, he saw Kuna hopping his way. He wasn't ready to inquire all innocently about her newest playmates.

"Shu-tan! Have you seen Miura, Inohara and Himuro?", she asked, confused. 

"I think I saw them from a distance, a few minutes ago. What did you need them for?", Hisagi responded, feeling a little guilty for lying. 

"Ah we were all having fun sparring for a bit. For some reason, they all wanted to go to the bathroom at the same time. It's been almost five minutes and they haven't come back", Kuna closed her eyes and touched her head with her index fingers. 

"Usually I'd tell you to be patient but I don't think they'll be back. They seemed to be going pretty fast and I already forgot which way they went", Hisagi scratched his neck.

"Oh, I see. I don't get it, I thought they liked spending time with me", Kuna's disappointment was apparent. 

"Well, you can be a little..you know", Hisagi gestured vaguely at her.

"Upbeat?", Kuna poked her own cheek with a finger. 

"I was going to say overwhelming but that too", he noticed her angry pouting and elaborated. "You have so much energy that some people don't know what to do with it. They're young blood but that doesn't mean they can compete with your high spirits."

"Absolutely, they're the ones missing out. Still, I wanted to show them some new moves. Especially Inohara who needs it the most, always a scaredy cat that barely can hold his own in a fight", she brought her fist up and shook it. 

"I agree, but they should want it and not be forced to improve that way. Kuna, how many times have you made them go along with you this month?"

"Hmm let's see, Rose and Shinji had those days out then I visited the world of the living", she counted out loud. "About twenty days."

"What? No wonder they don't want to do it anymore. What about captain Muguruma? You were always jumping at the opportunity to spend time with him", Hisagi said, disconcerted.

"Oh come on Shu-tan, I've been doing my best to leave you and Kensei alone. I know nothing's gonna happen if I'm around a lot, so please tell me you already con-", Kuna said, carelessly.

"Kuna, don't talk so loud", Hisagi interrupted her, whispering in a yelling tone. 

"So you haven't told him, I can't believe it! What have you been doing recently? The great Mashiro gives you all the pointers and you ignore them", Kuna rarely looked as frustrated as this. 

"Is that why you haven't been going with captain Muguruma lately? You don't have to restrain yourself for my sake "

"Believe me, it's also for my sake. Ever since you two met, Kensei has become meager in a good way. In your presence, he's fifty times more patient and kind."

Hisagi's eyes got bigger, not fully convinced of what he was hearing. 

"He's like that with a lot of people and you exaggerate that number", Hisagi tried to downplay it. 

"He is now because of your influence, but I doubt the dummy realizes it. And that number is hundred percent correct. If you think he's a little short tempered now, you have no idea before", Kuna ran in place for some unknown reason.

"I don't think he-", Hisagi thought better and reworked his words. "Maybe, I have changed for the better thanks to him too. You have a different opinion because our personalities are different and thus we perceive him how we think."

"This got too complicated for me. Annoying, annoying, annoying. If you're not gonna do it, then I'll do something about it myself", Kuna said, actually walking away.

Briefly, Hisagi considered Kuna to be more easily irritated than Muguruma-san. He kept it to himself as she'd be appalled by that observation. 

"Wait, I already have something planned", Hisagi pointed at one of the bags he was still holding. "I bought something for him, I'll tell captain Muguruma when I give it to him. It'll be relatively soon"

"I'll believe you, I'm not the only one frustrated at you two waiting for each other. At least it wasn't decades", Kuna looked satisfied. 

"Before I forget, this is for you", Hisagi pulled a rectangular box from one of the bags. "It's a friendship bracelet, I got one for myself too."

Taking the box from his hands on record speed, she took the bracelet out and started wearing it. Kuna was admiring the pretty colors and jumped up and down.

"I love it, thank you so much! Now, you wear it too", Kuna said, filled with excitement. 

"Alright", expecting that, Hisagi did just that. "Mine stands out more because of no sleeves and your shihakusho almost covers it."

"I'll wear it a little rolled up from now on", Kuna says happily.

Going for a hug, she almost pushed him backwards with her enthusiastic force. He didn't know what to do, not being used to hugs. Hisagi awkwardly patted her in the back. Friendship with Kuna was like pushing her on a swing constantly to help her get higher. Sometimes she would get off the swing and help him too, he just didn't notice before. 

He was honored to be her comrade, the unpredictable super vice captain of the ninth division. 

"Please keep making Kensei happy, Shuhei", Kuna said in an uncharacteristic quiet voice. 

"Leave it to me", Hisagi said with all the confidence he could muster. 

\---

To gather all the courage he'd need for his vow to Kuna, a new change was needed. For that, the answer was a haircut. It was the easiest and fastest option, as his clothing choices were still something he was attached to. Besides he'd had the current one for as long as he could remember. A new one would be appropriate for his new self.

There was only one place to do that in the seireitei, it worked as a barber shop and beauty salon. The door was glass, so Hisagi could see through it. Kira was already there, sitting in one of the chairs, his hair being water sprayed. 

Entering and sitting in the small waiting couch in the cramped space, Hisagi observed the back of Kira's head. He wondered if his blonde friend had the same idea.

"Is that you, Hisagi-san?, Kira said, trying not to move too much.

"Yeah, if I knew you'd be here too, we could've come together. Was it on a whim?", Hisagi looked at Kira's reflection in the big mirror on the wall.

"I decided on it a few days ago, but I didn't have time for it until today", Kira informed him, casually.

"You finally noticed how melancholic that makes you look? About time you got a more cheerful one", Hisagi said with a smug face.

"Says the one who hasn't changed his hairstyle since I've met him", Kira counterattacked. "I'm going for a closer look to the shin'o academy days, when I was still hopeful for the future. I want to be more optimistic, at least a smidge."

"I understand, you will. This peace won't be temporary, I can almost feel it. Even if it doesn't, we'll figure things out when we get to it"

"You might be right, but you know me. It won't be easy to think like that. How about you, Hisagi-san? What brought the want of a haircut?"

The barber asked Kira to move his head a little to the right, giving Hisagi a few seconds to form the answer in his head. 

"Me? Instead of going to the past, I want to do something I've never done before. Swim into new waters and for that I need to update my look, to match how I feel on the inside."

"That's really optimistic, I like it. It fits the new you."

"I hope you'll be able to find what you're looking for, Kira. The most important thing is to feel comfortable with the decision even if the outcome isn't the best", Hisagi said, with the best intentions.

"The second part sounds like something out of a Chinese fortune cookie", Kira said, unexpectedly.

"I'm trying to give genuine insight here!", Hisagi snapped. 

"I know, thanks", Kira said in a genuine tone.

One of the stylists who also worked in this place was done with another customer, and told Hisagi to sit in the chair next to Kira. He gave her instructions in the way he wanted his hair to look. When she got all of it, the styling tools were rearranged, so she got to work. 

As black strands of hair kept falling to the floor, it was like a greater weight had gone away too. Like a tree's leaves falling to show everyone it was autumn, the start of a new season.

Midway through his haircut, he heard two feminine voices behind him. Hisagi tried to look at them, but the stylist moved it back into place. 

"Don't mind us, we're here for the same thing as you guys", Rangiku-san said. 

"Discarding your previous self to embrace your newfound bravery?", Hisagi asked, voice completely neutral.

"The way you say makes it so dramatic but sure", Rangiku-san responded, nonchalantly. 

A giggle from Hinamori could be heard, as usual preferring to stay attentive. 

"What are the odds that we all had the same idea? The same day no less", Kira asked.

"Me and Rangiku-san informed each other. You're right in that both of you is more of a coincidence, at least it feels like it", Hinamori contributed to the conversation. 

"Who cares? It's more fun this way", Rangiku-san displayed a big smile.

"Please don't be too loud, Rangiku-san. We don't wanna cause trouble to the barber shop owner", Hisagi courtly said.

"What do you think I am? I can behave just fine", Rangiku-san pushed back.

"What about the time you tried to drag poor Abarai-kun to a karaoke session in front of his captain?", Kira questioned. 

"It was a party!", Rangiku-san said in defense. 

"It was a gathering to discuss the yearly budget to the different shinigami associations", Kira shot back, plainly. 

Just like that, the conversation drifted off to Rangiku-san's multiple drunk misgivings.  
Some smiles and laughs were shared, a wave of pure happiness washed over Hisagi, treasuring this time together. 

Then, Kira's hair was done. It was shorter, Hisagi vaguely remembered it from the academy. He maintained the bang of hair over his left eye, with it reaching just above his left eye. It really did feel like he was looking at someone younger, full of possibilities and open to a new path. 

Waving the remaining trio goodbye, Hinamori sat in Kira's previous seat. The two girls started talking about some TV show in the world of living and lost Hisagi's attention. 

It drifted to his captain. Endless options for possible places to go visit with him once his feelings were known. A picnic, cherry blossom watching, a water park in the world of the living and more. Would those be called dates? 

Hold on, that was getting ahead of himself. 

His attention came back when they asked him if he had any hobbies from it. It didn't take long for him to join in. Words about how much he loved to play guitar despite only buying one recently and motorcycles going at flying speed spilled like water from a broken dam.

A few minutes later, Hisagi's hair was ready. Looking into the mirror, his reflection looked at him expectantly. His bangs fell against his face, leaning to the right and coming down near his ears. The previous spike ends going down more smoothly, in thicker strands. This felt right, it was someone he knew and someone he was excited to fully become. 

Exchanging a few words with both girls before leaving, Hisagi paid and thanked the hair stylist. 

Going into his captain's office, he went right in front of the desk. Captain Muguruma had his eyes occupied in some paperwork. How nice it would be if that changed.

"Captain, is there something I can help you with?", Hisagi said loud and clear. 

"Not much at the moment, go look for something in that pile", that was when Muguruma-san looked up. "Did you change anything about your look?"

"Yes, I went to get my hair trimmed and style it a bit different. Does it look good?", Hisagi said in his best oblivious tone.

"It looks good", Muguruma-san said, as his Adam's apple went up and down slowly. 

Not like captain Muguruma was the most expressive guy, but Hisagi was a little disappointed. 

"Thank you. By the way, would you like to go to my living quarters next weekend? Just to hang out, if it's possible", Hisagi said, his nerves almost getting to him. 

"Sure", Muguruma-san said, looking intently at him. 

"I'm going to get to work now. Let's see, what needs seals of approval or a rewrite", Hisagi started looking through the pile in the center table. 

"I'm going to see if everyone is doing what they're supposed to do", Muguruma-san said, sounding almost spaced out. 

Had he finished all the paperwork on his desk? Maybe checking on everyone else's tasks was more time consuming. All of a sudden, a hard hitting sound echoed through the room.

Turning around to see what happened, captain Muguruma was a few centimeters away from the wall next to the door. He looked a little confused, like he wasn't sure what really just transpired either. 

"Was this wall always here?", Muguruma-san asked.

"Yes."

"Did you see it?"

"No."

"Then nothing happened", Muguruma-san walked out as if that was true. 

Alone in the office, Hisagi smiled to himself, piecing together what happened. He'd let his ego run rampant today, and believed that Muguruma-san running into the wall had to do with his new appearance.


	6. Chapter 6

"How are you guys dealing with your new squad members?", Kensei started the conversation.

"Pretty well, everyone loves me", Shinji said, without a hint of shame.

"I doubt that, especially with that modesty. I'm doing mostly fine, there are a few chords to be tuned", Rose said, kind of cryptic.

"For the most part, mine are hard working and diligent. Though there are some tempted to slack off with Mashiro, thankfully it's the minority. For the most part I leave it to Shuhei, and they prefer it", Kensei drank half of his drink in one go.

"I understand why they would go to Shuhei, running away from the crazy drill sergeant. But why drop the grumpy pug and go to the playful and lethal bull terrier?", Shinji unhelpfully commented. 

"Stop with the stupid analogy", Kensei said gruffly.

"Why? It works. Just zo you know, Shuhei is the golden retriever hovering around the pug, to see if it'll notice him."

Wordlessly, Kensei attempted to get up and head to Shinji's seat. In time, Rose was able to grab him from his shihakusho and sit him down again. 

"Alright, behave boys", Rose tried to mediate between them. 

"I'm behaving, I didn't do anything", Shinji looked unbothered.

"Whatever", Kensei responded, curtly. 

"So Momo got a new look too? I noticed Izuru's change the moment I saw it. Such a more elegant way to present himself, I praised him nonstop", Rose changed the subject. 

"Yeah, she looks even cuter now. Too bad she won't use the hair cloth thing she used before, had a charming air to it", Shinji said, with a particular sugary tone. 

"Rose, that's probably part of the reason he tried to avoid you. You're too suffocating, give him some space. Try to be less...you", Kensei pointed at his long haired friend's whole body. 

"How rude. He's been more comfortable around me lately", Rose placed a hand in his own chest. 

"Keep telling yourself that", Shinji joined in.

"It's true. Friendship is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings will last forever", Rose moved his hands as if he was playing the instrument. 

"That too, the way you relate everything with or to music is lame. Izuru must have some audio canceling earbuds, when you've been playing the guitar for over an hour", Kensei barraged Rose with no mercy.

"And the way you speak sounds like you're on a theater play", Shinji delivered the finishing blow.

"Why am I being picked on? You guys were arguing moments ago. It's at these times that I lament Love doesn't live here", Rose placed a hand in his own forehead, looking dejected. 

"We're past that, right Kensei?", Shinji asked confidently. 

"Sure", Kensei said, fully on board. 

"Besides, you two don't know anything about what makes good music!", Rose did a last attempt at fighting back.

The bar they were in was in the outskirts of the seireitei, the quality was lesser but there was barely anyone there. They could talk to their heart's content without obnoxious people talking over them. It was mostly quiet except for a couple and a small group of shinigami in opposite corners. Kensei was drinking sake, Rose was drinking a mimosa and Shinji had beer. 

"I do know, I listen to it instead of creating it. From that alone, and the fact that Momo actually listens to my music with an open ear", Shinji grinned widely.

"It's not the same thing", Rose concluded offended. 

"What I'm certain of, is that Shuhei playing guitar is leagues above you", Kensei said, with pride in his voice. 

"Anyway, how are things with Shuhei going, you big romantic?", Rose said, twisting the attention to Kensei.

Raising his eyebrows, Kensei showed clear disgust at the nickname. 

"You're gonna ask about him and not mine?", Shinji asked, feeling left out.

Internally, Kensei was glad Shinji had interrupted. It wasn't very fun to talk about this subject. He had no experience unlike Shinji so he had started to feel unsure about what to say. 

"Oh I wasn't sure. You act pretty much the same with all girls", Rose said.

"Wrong, I'm sure that it's different with Momo. I don't know how to describe it. Before it would be just physical, but with her I accept everything. And I think she does too", Shinji said seriously, drinking his fourth drink of the evening. 

"That's good, that you have no doubts. The real test is when to act upon that sentiment, right?", Kensei tried to hide his curiosity.

"Exactly, I'm gonna try and do it in the next few months. What matters most is that she's happy. Have you decided too?", Shinji said, with a determined demeanor. 

"I have, he invited me to his living quarters for something in six days. I'll do it then, it'll be the moment of truth", Kensei drank all of the remainder of sake in his cup. 

"Damn, he invited you? Those are some big moves, it's certain it'll work out. Do you know why he invited you?", Rose asked, surprised. 

"I don't remember, I was only half paying attention to what he was saying", Kensei admitted.

"Why? You never miss a word he says", Rose asked. 

"I was too distracted by his face, it was the day he went to get a haircut", Kensei said, under his breath.

"That explains it, did you say something nice to him about it?", Shinji was at the border of bursting out laughing.

"I said he looked good", Kensei said, blankly.

Not being able to contain it, a wheeze came out of Shinji. 

"Your reaction is getting on my nerves. What was I supposed to say? I couldn't be too forward", Kensei spoke again.

Both Rose and Shinji's came to rest one arm each on Kensei's shoulders, a look of sympathy in their eyes. Kensei raised both eyebrows this time, not fully understanding that action. 

\---

In front of Shuhei's front door, Kensei knocked twice. A gray yukata with black circles all over it was what he had chosen to wear for this big day. He passed a hand through his hair, shifting his standing position from one foot to the other.

As the door opened, the sight took his breath away. Shuhei was wearing a hazel colored yukata, maple trees patterns danced in multiple places on it. His eyes had a strong resolve, while also having the softness of a thousand pillows. 

"Please come in, captain Muguruma. Sit down if you want", Shuhei said slowly. 

"I don't mind standing", Kensei replied.

If he sat down, he had the feeling he'd stay there and not want to leave. What Kensei wanted to say was something that needed to be done with both of them looking at each other, nothing between them.

"Okay, let me bring a part of the reason why I invited you here", Shuhei left to go inside a room. 

As he waited, Kensei looked around the place. There was a photo of Shuhei, Izuru and Rangiku on a small desk. A plant that Kensei didn't recognize was next to it, it had big leaves and no flowers. The acoustic guitar he'd come to know was resting against the couch. Those various objects gave more life and personality to the room. It also let Kensei know more and more about Shuhei.

About two minutes later he came back. A small white box with a red bow as decoration laid in his hands. Kensei kept staring at it, as if it would open on its own. 

"Go ahead, it's for you", Shuhei brought it closer to him.

"I didn't bring anything for you", Kensei said, dumbly.

"That's fine, I didn't buy it to get something in return. It's yours to keep", Shuhei assured him. 

Taking it from Shuhei's hands, Kensei took off the bow and opened it. A necklace resided inside it, with a little knife charm hanging from it. He took it out and held it close to his eyes to admire it better. 

"It's in honor of Tachikaze?", Kensei asked to be sure. 

"Yes mainly, but you could also see it as your love for cooking because it could pass as a mini kitchen knife. If you want to, that's what I thought. There were many options and this one just seemed right and-", Shuhei's nervous ramble was stopped. 

"I really like it, works for both angles. Thanks, I'll make use of it immediately", Kensei said softly. 

Wasting no time, he opened the necklace, wrapping it around his own neck. Closing it in the front, with the knife pendant at full view. Rotating it around with his fingers, Kensei let it fall to the left side of his chest.

"I also have something to tell you", Shuhei prefaced touching his chin. 

There was something too that Kensei wanted to talk about, but he could wait. 

"Go ahead", Kensei gestured to Shuhei with his head. 

"It's a lot, I guess I want to start by thanking you for all things you've done for me. Just listening to my worries and being there when I needed it", Shuhei gave a small smile.

"Surely I wasn't the only one who did that. You've done a lot for me too", Kensei tried to discredit his own good qualities.

"That's true, yet you're the one who truly made me believe what I did wasn't wrong. That the happiness and loyalty I felt weren't fake", Shuhei took a big breath. "With you I learned that fear doesn't have to rule my life, it can be the foundation to battle but there's more than that for me."

Breathing deeply, Shuhei took a step closer. Kensei had a hunch of where this was going, so stayed silent. 

"I think you're smart, funny, brave, straightforward, you know what you want, and you care for others a lot. What I'm trying to say is that I'd like for us, for our relationship to go further…", Shuhei didn't waver, simply waited. 

"I like how you're considerate of others, that you're not afraid to say what you think, the happy look you get when you play guitar and the bubbly way you laugh.  
I feel I can trust you with my worries, regardless of how small they are", Kensei responded in kind. 

"Then? Can I consider that a yea?", Shuhei's eyes were full of hope. 

"I have a lot of flaws too, I might disappoint you when you see I'm not just that. Are you okay with that?", Kensei asked in a low voice.

"I know you do. You can be short tempered, pushy, rarely open up about yourself, stubborn and cocky. I accept all of them, as you'd need to accept the ugly sides of me for this to happen", Shuhei's voice was unwavering. "It's up to you, I've said it all."

It was up to himself, he had been allowed to reciprocate. Kensei walked up to Shuhei, as close as he could get. He took Shuhei's chin with his hand, keeping their lips apart by a mere centimeter. Waiting a few seconds to see if Shuhei would push him away or protest. He didn't, so Kensei decided to stop holding back.

Closing the small distance between them, their lips locked together. It was awkward at first, their teeth clashing and not finding the right angle. It wasn't what he expected, and he loved it nonetheless. Kensei grasped Shuhei's hair and held it tightly. Shuhei licked Kensei's lips, asking permission for his tongue to enter. It made it even better, the rhythm was more coordinated. Shuhei's tongue explored and played with Kensei's own. Licking every space in Kensei's mouth that was possible, Shuhei grabbed him by the waist. 

Kensei separated their lips, to instead shower Shuhei's neck with kisses. He was about to bite right above his collarbone, when Shuhei's voice got him out of it.

"Wait, tomorrow we're on duty. People are gonna know if you leave a mark there", Shuhei hurriedly said, all flushed up.

"It's not like relationships are forbidden between officers but if you say so", Kensei let out a discontent grunt. 

"They're not, it would still be a little unprofessional and I'd rather explain our relationship with a less uncomfortable reason", Shuhei was blushing slightly. 

"I don't care, but if you prefer it that way then so be it", Kensei conceded.

"I know it's not one of your strong points, Muguruma-san", Shuhei gave him a bigger smile. 

"You're getting more bold already, but not enough. Call me by my first name, no honorifics", Kensei prettily demanded

"K-kensei-san", Shuhei murmured. 

"I'll take it for now, it'll be a work in progress. Still you're incredible, doing that and still not able to call me by name", Kensei said in a joyful tone. "What?"

Shuhei was staring at him, in a curious and fascinated way. 

"You're smiling, genuinely and sweetly. My delayed birthday gift happened. It's beautiful", Shuhei's smile was so big, his teeth were visible.

Touching his face, Kensei was indeed smiling. He was so unused to it, that he didn't even register it.

"It's late but you got it. Sorry for taking so long", Kensei's smile remained. 

Giving a half hug to Shuhei, it really sunk in. They were both in to do this, and Kensei couldn't be happier. 

\---

It was a windy day, the first sun rays touched the vast green pastures as dawn cracked. Two men were standing in front of a grave, it had been almost a year and a half since it had been made. A really short wooden fence protected it, while a sword with an orange hilt guarded the entrance. 

The words engraved on it were simply 'Tousen Kaname, beloved by subordinates and comrades alike. Once the captain of the ninth division'. It had been a special permission to exclude the word traitor from it. 

One of the two men's hands dusted off the ground before it and replaced the old withered flowers with new ones. 

"Hello captain Tousen, it's been a while since I came to visit. Some new things have happened", Shuhei said. "Kurosaki Ichigo will get his powers back soon, the seireitei bulletin about the winter is done and central 46 is full and running again."

"There's also the fact that Love comes and goes nowadays", Kensei tried to add.

"Kensei-san, I was going for things that he'd specifically be interested in", Shuhei interlaced their fingers together. "Also, I love this man. I wanted to have him with me when I told you."

"Don't worry about him, Tousen. I'll take good care of him, you can rest easy", Kensei in a firm tone. 

Squeezing their hands tight for a moment, the morning light shone directly on them. 

"Yes, I'll be fine. We'll help each other along the way and do our best to not shoulder our burdens alone", Shuhei lifted their hands and tried to elbow Kensei.

"What's that for? I do my best, I'm working on it", lowering their hands again. "By the way, did I tell you that I didn't have to tell Rangiku where the necklace came from? She just knew, like a mind reader."

"That's not too far fetched since she knew how I felt about you for a long while. Her intuition is not to be underestimated."

"No wonder she gave me the big sister speech of 'don't hurt him or there'll be consequences'. She can be intimidating, in a way where she'll say it with a smile", Kensei said sourly.

"I didn't know about that side of her. That's kind of sweet", Shuhei smiled. 

"Yes, focus on that and not the threatening me part", Kensei said light heartedly. 

"Well you won't do that so she won't do anything to you", Shuhei said, full confidence in his words.

"You're too trusting. I love that about you though", Kensei smirked

"Only with select people now", Shuhei rested his head on Kensei's shoulder. "Anyway, captain Tousen, can you believe there's a music store in the seireitei? It's managed by the third and fifth division."

And just like that, all important and mundane information was transmitted by Shuhei and Kensei. From Shuhei's nightmares greatly decreasing to Komamura's cleaning adventures.

They would go on tangents and talk to each other, but in the end they respectfully concluded their visit. Shuhei bowed and promised to visit more often, as Kensei said he'd accompany him. 

Not following the trail, instead going into the wild and unknown, ready for what came next. Shuhei's first step felt like a literal jump after so much time not being sure where to go. Now he had someone he could hold onto that would not let him fall down and trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was mostly me expanding on Hisagi's character arc regarding Tousen but i really did enjoy creating his relationship with kensei and i wished there was more of it in canon  
> Feel free to leave a comment if you liked this!


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